Me . . . The "Impossible" Project

New Article Posted on Faith-contenders

2010-09-13T13:26:00.001-07:00

An Unexpected Encounter . . . with God

New Article Posted on Faith-contenders

2010-08-20T17:03:00.001-07:00

Part 2 - Walking in the Spirit of Forgiveness

Walking in the Spirit of Forgiveness

2010-08-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

New article posted: Walking in the Spirit of Forgiveness

New Article Posted on Faith-contenders

2010-08-10T23:01:00.000-07:00

Is Following Hard Really Worth All the Opposition?

Part II

2010-07-20T17:55:00.001-07:00

Here's Part II to my recent article on Faith-contenders

http://www.faith-contenders.net/rick/07_20_rick.html

Best,
Rick

New Website

2010-07-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

Good Day All,

I've created a new website where I will continue to post God Thoughts . . .

The site is called Faith-contenders. The URL is http://www.faith-contenders.net

Be sure to read the content on the link "You Might Want to Start Here" as it lays out the reason for the site.

I've also posted a recent article under my name.

I'll continue to post elements of my story here on this blog as the opportunity arises.

Thanks,
Rick

Death and Adultery . . . hard lessons

2010-06-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

Voter's remorse . . . church politicians using you to make calculated moves for their personal advancement . . . biting and devouring each other . . . not fun stuff to witness . . . but that was my life for the next year or so after leaving the Church plant. I'll get to that later this week. For now, I have to address something that happened recently.

I don't dream much . . . in my life there are only a small handful of dreams that I recall.

I do remember a reoccurring dream growing up . . . I was trapped in a tornado (I grew up in Oklahoma) running for the storm cellar. As I was scurrying across the front yard a burglar was just coming out of my grandparent's house. He picked me up and began to swing me around in circles in the front yard while I could see over my shoulder Grandpa closing the storm cellar door, leaving me to fend for myself in this storm with this scary stranger . . . I tried to scream but nothing came out.

Another dream had to deal with "Chinese Jumping Wolves" . . . don't ask me to describe them . . . because I can't . . . they were just there . . . stalking me in the trees while on a journey to who knows where.

I also dreamed very vividly in November of '92 that we would move to Moscow, Russia . . . which we did four months later.

One other dream I remember occurred a couple of years ago . . . I was in an African village and rebels were mercilessly massacring everyone . . . and my number came up. It really disturbed me . . . children were being killed right before my eyes and now it was my turn. I was scared stiff and woke up in a cold sweat.

Beyond that . . . I don't remember many dreams. That's why this past week was so troublesome for me. I dreamed two very real . . . and disturbing . . . dreams . . . early in the week . . . two nights in a row.

The first night I dreamed I was in a row boat in the middle of a large lake. No big deal . . . until I realized that I was in danger of dying. Suddenly I came to the knowledge that the water was extremely deadly and if any drop touched my skin . . . I would die . . . no getting around it. My challenge was to get to shore . . . and with just a bit to go I accidentally stepped into the water . . . and withdrew my foot just as quickly . . . but it was too late. I WAS NOW GOING TO DIE. The last thing I remember is confessing to God that I could not do anything about my dying and that I was to find out my eternal fate in the next breath or two. I was afraid . . . fearful of what God was going to do with me. I remember I yielded myself to him but there was a huge unknown . . . and the realization that I was going to be known . . . completely and totally . . . and the only thing I could do was to say, "Here am I Lord Jesus. I am yours."

I woke up in fear and dread . . . not of death itself . . . well, maybe the immediacy of it . . . but more than that I didn't know what to expect. In my mind it was really going to happen . . . I couldn't get around it . . . I couldn't cheat it. I was now going to know . . . and I feared I wasn't ready for it.

The very next night I had another disturbing dream. This time, I was there with my wife, Robin, traveling. Not a big deal . . . just moving around the Country . . . but all during this time I was committing adultery behind her back . . . having affair after affair with who I imagined were beautiful women. The strange thing is that Robin seemed to know it was happening . . . she wasn't happy about it to be sure . . . but she seemed to be patiently waiting for something to come to pass. She didn't get all hysterical and put a contract out on me . . . like I imagined she might do in real life. Weird, huh. After 28+ years I can say that I am 'affair-free'. I just don't think like that . . . and so to dream like this really bugged me.

Did I eat something spicy that stayed with me some two nights or was God trying to tell me something? Was there something deep-seeded in me that was telling me I was unfulfilled in some hidden part of my life or was God trying to show me something?

So, after several days, I took these dreams to God in prayer and asked Him to show me if there was anything He wanted to teach me about myself or Him through this . . . and if there was perhaps a connection with the two.

This is what He impressed upon me about my dreams . . .

They were connected . . . very connected. They were used to show me something about myself and my relationship with God.

God revealed to me that, yes . . . I was quite fearful of dying . . . of finding myself in His hands . . . and that while I could declare He was loving and caring . . . actually falling into the hands of the Living God was an experience I struggled with and could not put into words.

The marriage terminology when referring to our relationship with God is used in the Bible for a specific reason . . . it refers to complete dedication and commitment . . . it describes the intimacy that is shared with no other . . . it speaks of a relationship built on unconditional . . . and unadulterated . . . love . . . perfect love . . . it speaks of a transparency that happens when two become one. As Robin didn't immediately go on the offensive . . . but instead . . . seemed to be patiently waiting . . . God was actually describing Himself to me through this dream. God is really in love with me . . . and He utterly hates it when I demonstrate with my affections that I am toying with adultery. Thinking about it this way, I can more fully understand it when the Bible describes God as a Jealous Lover.

But . . . in the midst of His jealousy . . . He reminded me of the truthfulness and reliability of His Word. His Word says, "If we confess our sins . . . He is faithful and just . . . and will forgive our sins . . . and will cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I call that verse "God's bar of soap". So, once again, God is at work in my life . . . directing me through this process of continuing sanctification . . . which I describe . . . as the preparation needed in order to meet Him face to face and to enter into His Eternal Kingdom . . . which is being prepared for those who love Him.

"Lord, I confess to You that my affections have been mixed. I am so easily distracted from the eternal. Thank you for loving me and having the patience and the unswerving determination to do what is necessary to make known what You desire in me. Let me see that my future with You . . . meeting You face to face . . . entering into Your Kingdom . . . need not be filled with the unknown. I want to know You more and more each day . . . and you afford me that privilege. I don't want to continue dabbling in the strange fires of adultery . . . sharing my affections with the things of this world. I am declaring my wholehearted commitment to be Yours and Yours alone. Lead me on Your path . . . the path so many others have faithfully followed . . . that path that can be trusted to the nth degree because You faithfully revealed Yourself to be the God of all Creation and desire to save all who call upon You. I agree with Your Word, "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.""

With God's grace . . . this is they way I will choose to live.

May you have a God-filled day . . . this day . . . and every day . . . from here to eternity.

. . . good day

2010-05-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm off to the plains of Oklahoma for two weeks here in a bit . . . but I wanted to take a moment and continue on with my dialogue. Many of you have been quite humorous in your responses to my story as a Church planter. By humorous I mean some have declared that they have a permanent crease in their legs due to their sitting on the edge of their seat waiting for the next part of the story. I've received wonderful surprises via phone calls from dear friends who are begging me not to leave them hangin'. Still, I've heard from others whom I would have never expected to hear from . . . but something in this story touched them . . . motivated them . . . to write and comment. Maybe it's an identity. I don't know. I'm truly humbled. Really. Thank you from the depths of who I am in Christ. If someone is challenged to follow Jesus Christ more passionately as a result of what I write here . . . then I consider that it's all been worthwhile. On with my story . . .

What's got long hair in a braid that's been dyed copper-red, wears a large hoop earring and drives an old Suburban filled with music equipment? Answer: Me, one year after my being ousted of my Church plant. Yup. You heard right. But before I get there . . . let me pick up on the first week after the dreaded phone call telling me I was done.

Here's the end of my last narrative describing my mental, physical and spiritual condition at that time . . .

...continued from my earlier blog...

"The telephone rang . . . I took a deep breath and answered it . . . "Hello," I spoke in monotone.

"Rick, this is (so and so) . . . I just wanted to let you know we've finished the congregational meeting. Rick, the vote on whether to call you as the pastor was taken and it was 21 in favor and 22 against. I'm sorry, Rick. I'm really sorry."

I hung up the phone. It had happened. It had really happened. I felt like a Zombie . . . just going through the motions . . . but feeling absolutely nothing. I was completely numb. No anger . . . no sadness . . . no expression . . . just plain numb to the core.

The doorbell rang . . . it was my associate pastor. He didn't know what to say . . . it was awkward . . . and if he did say something . . . I didn't hear it. All I recall is that he sat on the sofa while a deafening silence coated the room. He only stayed for a few minutes. I didn't want him around me. He left. We never really spoke on a personal level again. It would be a long long time before I would speak with anyone on a personal level again . . . including my wife.

I went to bed. I wished Robin would stop sobbing. I wished the world would be quiet and let me alone . . . but it didn't."

Here we go . . .

That next day and the following days were run in auto-pilot. With no desire to meet and greet anyone, I stealth-fully entered my office on Monday morning (it was regularly closed on Mondays as that was our day off) and as quickly as possible cleared out my office . . . some 3,000+ volumes, computer (yes, I had a computer in those days), any furniture that was mine, pictures, etc., . . . loaded it up, left the keys on the desk and disappeared . . . vowing I would never step foot in this place again.

Arriving back home . . . before I could even unload my car . . . the phone calls started coming. Those who had been out of town had just gotten the news and were horrified. "If I knew . . . if I only knew . . . we would have come back into town early so we could have casted our vote." The story was the same . . . only the characters changed. Sobs and condolences were aplenty. But I couldn't respond. The numbness from the pain had totally engulfed me. Every square inch of my being was affected. I had never experienced anything like this before . . . and I didn't like it. My wife, Robin, described it as living with a dead person propped up in the Lazy Boy . . . no interaction . . . no emotions.

The phone calls continued . . . One of the key figures in the denominational committee called and assured me, "Rick, we are not going to leave you hanging. The [denomination name here] is here to help. We'll find you something else when you're ready. I'll be in touch." I never heard from him again. I received one more phone call that same day from the moderator of the meeting representing the denomination . . . he assured me that I was in his thoughts and prayers. I thanked him as best I could. I never heard from him again. My supervisors who recruited me for this task . . . never heard from them . . . my peers in my presbytery . . . never heard from them . . . those who fielded this committee to move the church into organization . . . never heard from them again. My only interaction with the denomination took place some months later when I sought to have my name removed from their presbytery rolls. It was just a formality . . . no greeting . . . no fellowship . . . no identity . . . only stoic, antiseptic, sterile communication. You know, men just being men.

Yes, I was abandoned by this conservative, evangelistic and theologically astute denomination that promised oversight, direction and a future as one of their church planters. It became quite obvious over the weeks and months to follow that my trust had been sorely misplaced. Mind you, I don't blame them . . . no, I blame my own lack of spiritual eyesight and my naive willingness to accept anything and everything heralded in the halls of this great denomination as bona fide spiritual truth.

Later in that first week, key men in the Church . . . namely the three newly ordained elders, my former associate pastor . . . and a retired pastor/missionary who had attended the church from day one . . . asked for a meeting with me for a debriefing as everyone needed to move forward . . . you know . . . housekeeping chores that had to be addressed. I consented to attend.

The meeting was silent . . . for most part. I wasn't the leader anymore . . . I wasn't going to direct the meeting. They hemmed and hawed . . . and then got around to trying to offer me their counsel . . . which, in a nutshell was this . . . "Rick, you need to move on. There are other churches out there. You're bright and intelligent. Surely you could find something." You know, it was that old . . . Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it mentality. I wasn't ready for that. In fact, it made me sick to my stomach just listening to it. Remember, the pain had crept into every crevice of my soul. I was feeling things I had never felt before . . . and I hated it . . . but, I hated this advice even more . . . it was . . . so darn predictable. One of the men begged me to preach one final time and offer a 'farewell message' to the Church. Incredulous!

For a candid moment here . . . just having written this out . . . I just relived this meeting and am twinged once again with that sickening feeling in my gut. I can't describe it . . . it's just awful.

We concluded the meeting with their presenting me with a three month severance package. After that . . . we would be finished with our relationship. It was so . . . so . . . business and corporate-like. Someone prayed . . . I don't remember who . . . and I left.

I went home, packed up Robin and the kids and went on a week-long trip into the White Mountains trout fishing . . . hoping for something to make sense . . . something to happen . . . something to change . . . but it didn't. You know, it's a tragedy taking a family vacation drenched in extreme sadness . . . a sadness that seizes the opportunity to zap any joyful memories one might experience being out in God's creation with your loved ones. I confess, I don't have any fond memories of that outing . . . except that we caught lots of trout. I wish I could remember more . . . but I can't.

A new and very different life was to begin . . . and I wasn't ready for it . . . but as you know, life does not stop for us. What would I do? What could I do? What did I want to do? In my moment of utter despair . . . I wanted to do absolutely nothing . . . I decided I wanted out.

But God had different plans . . . and He wasn't about to let me thwart those plans with my pain . . . but instead . . . through my pain . . . He worked . . . and worked . . . and then worked some more.

In my pain I experienced God's long-suffering . . . that He alone could understand and comprehend what I was going through and that a time table for healing was not on his docket. The development of character He desired in me would not happen overnight . . . would not happen over a few months . . . or even over a few years . . . and He was okay with that.

In my pain I experienced God's lovingkindness . . . that He would never abandon me nor stop believing in me . . . that He really did desire a relationship with me . . . not based upon what I did or didn't do . . . but based upon His love in its purest form . . . unconditional . . . full and complete.

In my pain I felt God's embrace . . . and I discovered first hand that my God will never let me go . . . no matter how hard I try to wriggle free. The writer of this Psalm has come to describe my feelings precisely:

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths,
you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

During this story . . . another piece of advice comes to mind that I would offer for the would-be follower of Jesus (if I knew this would be my final testament to those reading this)

As a follower of Jesus Christ . . . you can expect suffering, isolation, rejection, persecution, hardships, misunderstanding, improper characterizations, mistreatment, an unfair shake in this world . . . and lots and lots of pain. Those elements, although found quite often and plainly in the teachings of Jesus Christ when describing the cost of following after Him . . . are strangely void in the messages of our day. These inescapable realities for the Christian have been declared enemies of our soul and treated as foreign intruders into the spiritual life . . . rather than realities to be embraced . . . realities that can be agents of change . . . change in our spiritual walk and depth of character.

Much more to come on that . . . and my story . . . an a-typical journey that would include managing a rock band, befriending actor Stephen Baldwin, an encounter with Miss USSR and the Russian mafia . . . and the murder of my entrepreneurial brother-in-law, Paul Tatum.

All of this . . . and much more . . . pointing to my most important lesson in life . . . forgiveness.

Have you heard of any of these people?

2010-05-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

Joel Osteen, John MacArthur, Dave Hunt, John Wimber, Karl Barth, John Murray, J.C. Ryle, Kevin Leman, J. Vernon McGee, Walter Kaiser, John Stott, J.I. Packer, John Ankerberg, R.C. Sproul, Randy Carlson, Martin Luther, A.W. Pink, John Calvin, T.D. Jakes, Matthew Henry, Gleason Archer, D.A. Carson, Patricia King, Kim Clement, etc.

You are probably familiar with a name or two on this list . . . some have been dead and gone for centuries . . . while others are here among us today.

Question . . . What do those on this list I've compiled have in common with each other? Anything at all? Yes.

The most obvious thing in common is that every single one of them has written something or other about the Bible . . . some from a counseling perspective . . . others from a theological perspective . . . still others from a historical perspective . . . and still others from a cultural perspective . . . and even others from an experiential perspective.

Now hold on to that thought . . . I'll come back to this in a moment . . .

You are familiar with the game of baseball . . . aren't you? Perhaps it's not your favorite sport . . . maybe it's too slow moving for some and you find yourself avoiding it at all costs . . . but nevertheless I'm sure you've come across it once or twice in your lifetime whether on TV or perhaps you've even attended a game or two. For me, I really enjoy it. Some say it is the most challenging of all sports . . . you are to take a hard, round leather-covered ball . . . throw it 90+ mph with movement . . . and try to hit it solidly with a long, round piece of wood . . . and if you can do this three out of ten times . . . you're considered a tremendous success. It's the ultimate mental challenge of overcoming physical failure. There's a lot about the game that we can apply to life in general if we just look for it.

Anyway . . .

In the game of professional baseball you have the players, the coaches, the bat boy, the grounds crew, the managers, the spectators, the umpires, the vendors, the financial investors, the trainers, those who clean up afterwards, the technical team, the scouts, the owners, the sports writers, the statisticians, and the commentators. I think that about covers it . . . in a general fashion.

Question . . . how many of those people mentioned are actual baseball players? Answer: Twenty-five on each team . . . total. Fifty players out of the hundreds and hundreds of people involved in producing a game.

Now, last night the Diamondbacks were hammered by the Dodgers. It was a sad, sad moment in baseball history. A friend of mine attended the game as a spectator and described some of the game to me this morning. Head Coach, A.J. Hinch talked about the game afterwards. Sportswriters wrote about it this morning. Talk shows offered their take on the game and what the D'Backs need to do to right the ship. I'm sure you could ask most anyone on the clean-up crew who won or lost last night . . . they could probably tell you. The statisticians could pull up the stats and compare it with any other game over the last one hundreds years . . . and could replay the events through the box score.

Think about this for moment (well, I hope a little longer than that) . . . All of these people who facilitated the game to be played can only talk ABOUT the game . . . they cannot tell you what the game was actually like to be played. Some of those people mentioned are seen as quite the authority on the game of baseball, but still, none of them were on the roster . . . thus, they can only talk about it and describe it.

Now, suppose . . . in your wildest dreams . . . Manager A.J. Hinch called you up and asked if you'd like to be in the lineup for tonight's game? He continued . . . they had made a place for you on the roster and were inviting you to get in the game. And he was serious. Yeah, I know . . . that's a pretty wild dream alright.

But, even more strange . . . what if you responded to the invitation with . . . "No thanks. I know the game would be a real challenge . . . and I'm pretty out of shape right now . . . and besides, I don't know if I know all the rules of the game. While I appreciate the offer, I think I'll just listen to Mark Grace talk about the game and read about it in the paper tomorrow morning."

Mind you, Mark Grace is a wonderful commentator . . . and he's played the game . . . he knows what it's like to be in the moment . . . but all Mark can do for me now is tell me about the game.

My point is this . . . there is a huge difference between knowing about and hearing the game and actually getting on the diamond, fielding the balls and swinging away.

Now back to my original thought . . .

How many of us . . . if we are really honest with ourselves . . . prefer to read ABOUT God from others' perspectives rather than positioning ourselves into a place where we can hear His voice personally and intimately? That's something to really consider . . . just think about what book you will reach for next. All of these writers I've mentioned above . . . either former players or on God's current roster . . . all have things to say . . . but . . . and it's a big but . . . all they can do is tell you ABOUT God. You, and only you can KNOW God. Another cannot know Him for you . . . I don't care how much they walk around with the 'annointing' . . . their relationship with God is NOT vicarious.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Our God has invited us into a personal relationship with Him. He's willing to reveal to us things we could have never imagined . . . through the help of His Word. He's willing to disclose His mind to us . . . He's willing to allow Himself to be known by us. He wants us in a most urgent manner to position ourselves to be receptive to intimacy with Him and understand His revelation of His will for our lives. He wants us to walk out our life of salvation He's initiated. All of this knowledge comes through the Bible, the Word of God, with the reliance upon the Holy Spirit to open our minds to understand what the Scriptures say. That's what God wants out of this relationship. He wants a people who KNOW Him, and not just know ABOUT Him.

But I'm afraid that all too often our response to this grand invitation from God is . . . "While I appreciate the offer God, I really feel more comfortable getting info about You from my trusted resource [insert your favorite Christian writer/commentator here]. You know, the Bible is quite difficult to grasp and I am not equipped to understand it like him/her. Let me first check out what he/she has to say on the subject." We do this while often not realizing that the writer's words will shape our values and outlook on God in some form or fashion.

Might I be so bold as to say . . . God wants you . . . he doesn't want you duplicating of T.J. Jakes . . . God wants you . . . He doesn't want you replicating of Joel Osteen . . . God wants you . . . He doesn't want you parroting Chuck Smith.

I encourage you, let God's Word . . . unadulterated and without influence from anything other than the Holy Spirit . . . be the first resource you always go to. Put yourself in a place where you can sit at His Throne and ask the Spirit for understanding . . . and don't be so quick to reach for Matthew Henry (a commentator on the Bible). Instead, be like Jacob . . . who refused leave that place of meeting with God until something happened . . . one way or the other. You know, we can do the same thing . . . but we can do it now with Bible in hand . . . asking (and pleading with) God to show us His ways.

So, here's my piece of parting advice . . .

Before you reach for someone who writes a lot of great stuff about God . . . consider reaching first for God Himself . . . as He has revealed Himself through His Word.

The Bible is completely sufficient . . . even if another book was never published about it . . . it stands on its own with no help needed. I hope you will be challenged to make your Bible the most often read and referred to publication in your life.

II Timothy 3: ". . . from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."

May those 'Writings' we so often have taken for granted . . . become 'Sacred' once again.

. . . the continuation of my story . . . next . . . I promise

. . . parting advice

2010-05-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

Good day . . . a brief reminder to show you that I'm still moving toward my goal . . . and a glimpse from where we have come . . .

Advice I would offer if I knew this were my last time to speak with you . . .

I'm reminded of one of my favorite passages of Scripture . . . it's found in Acts 20. Paul, as he prepares to depart realizing that he will never see his Ephesian believers again . . . on this side of Glory, says, "Therefore, I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God."

As I look back upon my experiences and exposure to Christianity . . . more often than not, the approach to our faith in Christ has not mirrored Paul's approach described above. Instead, it has been more like this . . . "How little can I get by with my pursuit of God in my own life and still be called a Christian?" or if we are willing to share our faith we ask, "What's the minimum I can communicate with another and still call it the Gospel?"

This approach is bothersome. We seem determined to think we can apply God to our lives in measurements . . . we treat ourselves like a good recipe . . . if we mix a heaping cup of our children . . . and a full stick of our spouse (melted of course) . . . a couple of tablespoons of our in-laws (for tanginess) . . . three cups of our job . . . a half a cup of recreation and relaxation . . . and a dash of God for flavoring . . . mix thoroughly . . . bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes . . . let cool . . . serves my family . . . that our lives will somehow measure up acceptably in God's eyes. Well, that might be okay for the God we've conjured up in our own minds . . . but that will never ever work for the God revealed in the Bible.

Dare I say that this whole approach to our life in Christ is backwards? It is warped thinking and it's going to get us in real trouble if we continue using that recipe. Rather than a dash of God throughout our lives as if we are convinced that a little dab of His Majesty is going to be enough to get by . . . we must start with God as the primary ingredient. Our children are not the most important thing in life, nor are our grandchildren . . . our job is not the most critical aspect of our existence . . . our spouse is not the missing component . . . a successful life with an easy retirement tagged on is not the end all . . . no, God has to be the first and foremost element/ingredient/component in our life . . . period. If He is not . . . if our children are first . . . if our spouse is first . . . if our vocation is first . . . if anything but God is first . . . then, according to Jesus Christ, we cannot be called His disciple. The sooner we can come to grips with that and stop fooling ourselves into thinking that in our 'specialness' we can be an exception to the rule . . . the sooner our lives will become what they're supposed to be. The term Christian (first used in Antioch) was given to the followers of Jesus because they were considered 'little christs'. Their lives were so marked by the life of Christ, that they received the highest compliment . . . even though the title was meant to be derogatory . . . they were seen as 'imitators'.

That's really the whole purpose of my penning a blog . . . my prayer is that our lives would no longer be marked by compromise . . . that we would no longer be comfortable in our complacency . . . that we wouldn't be so quick and willing to accept less of God . . . that we would no longer equate God with the danger of having too much of a good thing . . . as if too much of God in our lives will send us over the edge and we'll no longer be a valid contributor to society. My prayer is that we would recover the real and actual meaning of the name Christian . . . that you and I would become 'little christs' once again . . . mirroring the life of Christ. That we would take the Apostle Peter seriously when he says that Jesus has given us an example that we should follow in his footsteps. This is more than a pleasant platitude from the Bible to placate peace in our lives. This is radical . . . winner takes all . . . and the loser loses really really big . . . for all eternity. I don't want you to lose. I don't want to lose. We can't afford to allow our mind's creative juices to continually cook up our own personalized view of God. As I've said before . . . God will be God as He is revealed in the Bible . . . whether we choose to go along with Him or not.

Now, you recall I shared two points (in previous blogs) thus far . . . if I knew I was on my last leg of life

They were . . .
1. Know Your Presuppositions.
2. Don't Let a Church's Teachers and/or Sermons Replace Your Own Personal Study of the Word of God.

The third is this . . .
3. Exercise Version Control of the Bible.

With the plethora of translations out there . . . and churches refusing to settle on one or two translations from which to regularly teach . . . I've noticed a real dip in those who can skillfully use a Bible. Is it because we don't trust ourselves and our ability to study the Bible? . . . Is it that we feel we are ill-equipped to properly understand all of the Bible? Is it that we don't know which Bible to use? You'll have to answer that yourself . . . but if you're serious about growing in Christ . . . then I encourage you, even if your Church doesn't promote it, to search out, and find one primary translation and stick with it. If not for anything else . . . do it for consistency and order in your life. If you discover a better translation at a later date . . . you can change . . . that's okay. Language (nuances/verbiage/meanings) changes as the centuries come and go. Not all of us know Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew. Thus, we have to rely upon those faithful in translating God's Word into our present language for us so we, too, can have the Mind of Christ in our hands.

What I'm trying to say is this . . . Don't become Lost in Translation . . . and thus shrink back because you don't think you can know the whole counsel of God . . . paralyzed because you don't know which version to use. I admit, it can be a little overwhelming . . . and . . . the result of offering us so many choices . . . if we are not careful, can also promote inactivity in our minds and hearts. Too many choices can keep us at the point of indecision longer than necessary. Remember, the Evil One does not want you in the Word. He wants you puzzled, hesitant and unsure. He knows the Bible's Power and Truth. If he can keep you from pursuing it seriously . . . and thus leaving you without a plumb line for your life . . . he won't have much trouble getting you to believe and accept his warped world view. It ought not be that way.

May this week be the moment you decide to . . . not only follow hard . . . but also begin to study hard . . . and not shrink back from learning, knowing and declaring the whole counsel of God.

A Second Intermission . . .

2010-05-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

Before I get back to my story . . . there has been a phrase that has consumed me for the last several days . . . it's been with me during my prayer walk . . . during my reading . . . during my conversation . . . and although it's occupied a good portion of my thought life . . . I hadn't brought it up aloud to another until today. The phrase? It is this: 'The Struggle with Sin'. That's it. What prompted me to travel down this path was my rereading Romans chapter seven a few days ago and the description of how Paul spoke of sin seemingly as a person . . . with human-like qualities and a personality. It is active . . . it is moving . . . it gets in the way . . . it trips us up . . . and it has a goal. It reminded me once again that my real enemies are not the people who want to harm me . . . my real enemies are not those who want to silence my declaration of God . . . my real enemies are not those who believe differently than I do . . . no . . . according to the Bible, here are my real enemies . . . "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." [Ephesians 6] And what is my Enemy's weapon of choice with which he attacks me again and again? Sin. Ruthless . . . potent . . . devastating . . . lethal. Sin is the premeditated move by Evil to keep God out of the picture . . . out of my life . . . and to make Me the most important thing . . .

And so my struggle is this . . . if I let my guard down for even a second . . . sin is right there ready to pounce on the moment, and turn what I believe to be an innocent, a-moral event into something entirely evil. That's my constant struggle . . . and that's your constant struggle if you are a follower of Jesus. Sin . . . the earthly representative of the evil in the heavenlies . . . is an opportunist in every way. When we least expect it . . . we can find ourselves filled with and playing out in our mind the most wicked and vile thoughts imaginable . . . and after we regain our spiritual composure . . . we ask ourselves . . . Where in the world did that come from? Duh!

As I have said before . . . identifying the players and their strategy can be a large portion of the battle. That said . . . I ask . . . Are there any moments I can anticipate and become aware of that seem to trigger when sin will try to have its way with me? . . . Is there something I can do proactively that will ensure victory over my struggle? The answer is a definite YES! I came across a passage this morning in my quiet time that speaks directly to this . . . but from a different angle I hadn't seen before . . . but answers for me my phrase inquiry . . . so follow along if you care to . . . I truly believe it can help both you and me in our struggle against sin . . . for I really do believe we all want victory in our lives.

I'm going to highlight the actual verses in red and then share some thoughts . . .

Romans 13 [The Message Version]

"But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God.

First, sin wants to keep me busy . . . via seemingly innocent, yet necessary things that I must do to survive. Working, providing for my family, paying my bills, trying to make ends meet . . . things that are required in order to live . . . are the very tools sin will use to keep me distracted from my ultimate purpose in life. These tools, if given the opportunity, will be used to keep my focus off of my Creator, tire me out . . . and thus make me too exhausted for God . . . to the extent that I don't even recognize Him at work in my life. Sin wants you bogged down in the drudgery of life's requirements . . . keeping your nose to the grindstone . . . not coming up for air. Sin really does have a corporate mentality, doesn't it? (grin)

The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed.

Sin wants me spiritually groggy and unaware of my surroundings . . . he wants my spiritual senses dulled . . . and my mind dormant and unsuspecting . . . sin doesn't want me to actually believe that we are living in the final moments of history. He wants me to continue on . . . busy . . . tired . . . at play . . . preoccupied with life's demands . . . as if nothing is ever going to change.

We can't afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight.

Sin wants me to waste time wherever possible . . . doing things that serve only my interests, wants and desires. He wants me cemented to my Lazy Boy if I think I deserve it after working hard all day long . . . He wants me to seek out the most delightful creature comforts because I've earned it . . . He wants me to glum to anything in my life that might produce in me a sensual gratification . . . for my flesh needs refreshed . . . rejuvenated . . . so I can once again reenter the endless cycle of work and play . . . sin's tools of the trade. Sin also wants me to take hold of the notion that everything is about me . . . even you are about me . . . and if you don't agree . . . well . . . tough . . . it's still about me!

Get out of bed and get dressed! Don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!"

Sin wants me to put off today what I think and assume I can do tomorrow . . . spiritually speaking. He wants me to procrastinate anything and everything having to do with God . . . and my spiritual disciplines that are essential to me becoming who I am supposed to be in Christ. Sin wants to keep me in spiritual pajamas . . . defenseless . . . powerless . . . impotent . . . and . . . completely unaware of my current condition . . . and he wants me to really believe that I can't get going in the morning until I've had my first cup of [insert your favorite cup of coffee here].

Friend, sin wants the victory in both your life and mine. And he will have victory if He can continually keep us in the dark . . . groping and reaching for anything to satisfy our deepest longings. He doesn't want us to even catch a glimpse of God . . . he wants us preoccupied, tired, busy with self, and unaware of what's upon the horizon ready to burst forth.

So, how do I stop it from happening? I think one of the keys is found in this same passage . . . notice the Apostle Paul says, "Dress yourselves in Christ . . ."

Paul quite often uses what is coined, clothing terminology to describe our life in Christ . . . a removal of the old man . . . the old nature . . . and the putting on of Christ. A putting off the sins of the old nature . . . and being clothed with Christ. That said, there is a place where Paul specifically describes what I suspect he is referring to here when he speaks of dressing yourselves in Christ. It's found in Ephesians 6 . . .

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."

As we lay out clothes for the next day may we remember that as followers of Jesus . . . that we are to also dress ourselves with Christ on a daily basis . . . we do this so we can identify and see sin for what it is . . . we do this so we can experience real victory in our lives . . . we do it because the only other option in life's mix are the clothes sin offers . . . which are filthy . . . smelly . . . and could be stood up in a corner. Let's put sin's wardrobe where it belongs . . . and friend . . . it's not in the clothes hamper.

God Bless,
Rick

I'm back . . .

2010-05-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

Do you remember why I started this story? I was recollecting from the Easter Holiday . . . that if I knew I was not going to be around and this were my last time to share advice/lessons/etc. with you . . . what would they be? The first piece of advice, you recall, was Know Your Presuppositions. If you know them . . . are comfortable with them . . . and you really believe them . . . you shouldn't have any reason to fear walking the paths of this world. God has set boundaries for us all. He has numbered out days. And those days should not be walked out in insecurity and intimidation. The Bible verse that says we are 'More Than Conquerors' is more than just words used to complete a sentence or a thought . . . it's a way of doing things . . . it's a way of living.

The next parting piece of advice I would share would be this: Don't Let a Church's Teachers and/or Sermons Replace Your Own Personal Study of the Word of God. This is what lead into my story about my Church planting experience. I've received some very interesting responses to my story . . . some have been touched as I've mentioned . . . others have responded . . . 'Hey, I appreciate your story here, but I don't know quite where you are going with this' . . . well now is time to connect the dots on this second piece of advice . . .

The reason you should not exchange a pastor's teaching . . . breakdown . . . or explanation of the Bible with your own study is this . . . pastors . . . no matter how well-intentioned and sincere . . . . do not . . . and I would even say, cannot . . . preach in a vacuum. As you can see in my own story . . . if the people in my own congregation only took what I preached and crafted their own view of God based on what I taught them and did not study the Scriptures themselves . . . they would walk away with, at best, a skewed version of God and the Bible . . . my view. We've got to understand this . . . on the Last Day when we find ourselves standing before God . . . we are not going to be judged according to our pastor's view of the Bible . . . we are not going to be judged based on what he preached . . . we are not going to be judged by his convictions . . . no, we are going to be personally held accountable for what we did with God and His Word ourselves . . . not what Pastor Cecil or Sister LuElla did with it.

I was listening to an AM radio station yesterday on my way to shoot photos in the desert . . . this particular station promotes the black congregations in the Valley. A guest appearance by a local pastor was next on the schedule. I've been listening to a lot of Black Gospel worship lately (I love it) . . . wearied of the Christian pop on the other stations (my own opinion currently) . . . but I hadn't actually listened to any interviews. I was just about to switch stations when the guest speaker made a comment . . . "Preachers, whether black or white or brown, are really messed up people." That caught my attention. In a nutshell he was making the case that pastors not only have to tend to the upkeep of their own lives . . . but they also have the responsibility of keeping on top of the lives in his congregation. And this is what messes them up. I didn't agree with everything . . . for there were some assumptions of pastoral responsibilities that were debatable . . . but his point was a good one . . . Pastors are messed up people just like everyone else. Small Church . . . big Church . . . bigger Church . . . biggest Church are lead by men . . . who are just that . . . men.

To think that a pastor will give you the Word of God in a spiritual bubble that is angle-free, influence-free and twist-free is just wishful thinking. His personality, likes and dislikes, preferences, style and manner, and a host of other elements all make up and influence how he will deliver Scripture to you. If he is Reformed . . . his approach will be from a Reformed perspective. If he is Charismatic, his approach will be from the Charismatic shift . . . if he is schooled in Neo-orthodoxy (go look that one up), he will present Scripture from that point of view . . . if he is dissatisfied with the Church . . . his approach and delivery to his audience will reflect that. If he is a conservative, if he is a liberal, if he is a Democrat, if he is a Republican, if he is an Independent, if He believes or rejects the death penalty, if he is a patriot, [you insert the issue/problem/challenge/affectation of the day] . . . it will affect his delivery . . . what passages of Scripture he will use to make his point . . . and the advice he will give to his congregation on how his message/sermon should be applied. Heck, let's be real here . . . even what I'm writing here has a certain slant to it. It is influenced by those very things I mentioned above. We don't write, speak or think in a bubble. I wish it were that easy, but it just doesn't work that way.

As I said, pastors and teachers can't preach or teach in bubbles . . . but our tendency toward Christian celebrity worship trips us up all the time . . . and thus we find this simple truth quite easy to ignore. Just think back to any time where you've heard the introduction of special speaker to the congregation . . . Founder of a large International Ministry . . . Successful author . . . A leader God has used mightily in a movement (a movement we admire - like the Jesus People movement of the '60's and 70's, or the Signs and Wonders movement, or the Evangelical movement, etc.) . . . even Christian TV promotes it with their Christian Celebrity Hour program. Now, if they were using these introductory titles and descriptions to show how all of that is on the trash heap (dung hill) and worth nothing compared to who God is and what He has done . . . that would be one thing . . . but they aren't. These introductions and descriptions are used to give credence and legitimacy to their ministry and because of those titles they hold . . . we should listen to them . . . as if that somehow gives them special spiritual authority.

Couple that with our often lazy (did I really say that?) . . . instant generation . . . of super Christian wannabes who are looking for ways of doing the Christian thing without the necessary requirements of the spiritual disciplines . . . and you've got a recipe for a generation of believers who will follow just about anything, without questioning it . . . if it's exciting . . . if it's convincing . . . if it makes me feel good . . . if it's large . . . if others like it . . . if it promises me that I can have all my dreams come true . . . We shout, Hey, where do I sign up?

I guess you can tell that this is pretty important to me. Now you have a better idea of why I shared my story. I hope this will become important to you too . . . if it isn't already. God expects each and every single follower of Jesus Christ to know His Word . . . all of it. There's no getting around that. And no, that's not what you pay your pastor for. God expects you and me to take more than a cursory glance at all the 'feel good' portions of the Bible. He expects each of us to know what we believe and why we believe it . . . from our own in depth study of Scripture. Anything short of that and you short-circuit your ability to walk this earth in the authority and confidence God promises . . . as plainly laid out in Scripture.

Just as we can't get to heaven on the shirttails of our parent's or spouse's faith (God has no grandchildren or in-laws) . . . so we can't know God and His Word in the complete manner we are expected to on the shirttails (or robe) of our pastor or the latest thrill speaker. Enough of the barrenness of the lack of knowledge of the Bible within our Christian packs we run with . . . Enough of the ignorance of those who boldly state untruths such as "God would never do that . . ." as if they had just personally gotten off the phone with Him . . . Enough of the conjuring up in our mind's eye what God must be like based upon what our imagination tells us versus what the Bible actually says God is like . . . Again, God will be God. He is there to be known . . . in and through His Word. If you seek Him, He's not going to hide from you. He will be found. It's just that He wants you to find ALL of Him . . . that's why He gave us the Bible . . . the whole Bible.

Acts 17:11: "Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."

. . . more to come on this matter . . . along with more of my story

Intermission time . . .

2010-04-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

Today I'm going to diverge a bit from my story. I will return to it in the next blog. I've received so many responses concerning my story of a Church/pastor relationship gone bad that I thought it wise to take a moment and remind my readers why I'm inclined to share it. No doubt some browsers might find this detailed account bothersome and are even questioning its need to be shared. Let me explain briefly why I believe it's both good and necessary.

First and foremost . . . this is a story of redemption. But without a story told (sometimes tragic) that leads to redemption . . . like so many stories in the Bible . . . we would know little of the greatness of God and His ability to turn a horrible situation into something redeemable . . . and perhaps even beautiful.

You might recall the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. His famous quote to his brothers is what stands out for most . . . "...you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result..." If we had not been privy to the story of his brothers' jealousy and hatred of him, their evil act of pretending to murder him, lying to their Father, and instead, selling him into slavery where he ended up in Egypt, a story told which took years to unfold, we would not understand the concept of the sovereignty of God and how He can turn bad things that happen to us into good and redeeming events in our lives.

Here's my point . . . I have a story . . . I have experienced redemption . . . I have a life I am currently living pursing Jesus Christ with all of my heart . . . and to remove the story part of my past removes a discernible and identifiable path toward redemption that others might learn from and thus find redemption. We take our queues from Scripture's example of doing things . . . if we just looked ahead and didn't consider our past in the mix . . . we would be making the same mistakes again and again. Scriptures tell us that these stories (often stories of huge mistakes and unbelief) are there for our benefit so we don't make the same mistakes over and over. My story . . . your story . . . anyone's story of redemption contains details and events that others can learn from. Some are more complex than others . . . some contain a lot more hurt than others . . . but nevertheless . . . we all have stories. I think where we go a-rye is when we go to extremes on either side of the spectrum . . . when we spend too much of our time in those stories of the past . . . and on the other hand . . . when we ignore and refuse to use our story at all.

So, that's my approach and the ultimate reason for sharing this particular story (several others are coming at some point - including the murder of my brother-in-law by the Russian mafia while living in Moscow - my discovering my real identity after 25 years of thinking I was someone who I was not - now figure that one out). All my stories are stories of redemption pointing to the One True Redeemer . . even the stories of past successes. God challenges me again and again with my own man-made achievements to count them as nothing compared to what God Himself has achieved in me.

Some have wondered . . . again . . . why I am not pastoring anymore. I don't know what the future will hold for me . . . but I will say this . . . for the first time in some twenty years . . . I'm willing once again to say . . . "Whatever you want out of me, God, you can have it." I surrender. That may or may not include pastoring. That's okay with me.

Still others have affirmed that I should be a writer . . . that my strength in communication is storytelling. Thank you. That means a lot from someone who considered a C- in English as one of the crowning achievements of their high school career. I'd be open to writing more . . . even in a book perhaps . . . if others could benefit from it . . . but I have to leave that to God's timing. I don't have any leads and I don't want to force myself on any publisher. Being a former publisher wannabe . . . I know how tough that road is. It would have to be a God thing from the get go. Right now . . . I guess you could say that I am writer who is writing . . . if you consider this blog worthy of it.

My story from this point on takes some weird twists and turns . . . but I did want to affirm something very significant at this juncture . . . the healing in my life continues . . . and this blog was another necessary step in my pilgrimage of pursuing God.

Here's a passage of Scripture that really spoke to me this morning . . . it comes from Romans 6:

"You can readily recall, can't you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing—not caring about others, not caring about God—the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God's freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness?" [The Message version]

God desires that you and I live a healed and holy life . . . not a healed OR holy life. Yup . . . read that again very carefully . . . there are many out there who are trying to do one without the other . . . those trying to find healing . . . without thought of the need for God and a radical life-change . . . and those who are trying to follow all the holy rules of the Bible but continue to ignore their plight of being a part of the walking-wounded. Bottom-line, God wants to do it all in your life . . . and in mine. I hope you are in a cooperative mood . . . because God will be God whether we want Him to be or not. It's just that it makes it a much more wonderful process for all involved if we opt to move in sync with Him. My (not May) God bless you today.

I will continue with my story in a bit . . .

. . . continued from my April 27 blog

2010-04-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

If I were under severe torture with my assailant demanding me to recall the morning of March 17, 1991, I don't think I could tell him much. All I remember is two things . . . I continued in my series on the Life of Christ (at least I think I did) . . . and I noticed a lot of the people were out of town that weekend . . . both families and individuals were gone. That's about it.

After the service I went home and crashed. The congregational meeting was now only hours away. All would be decided. I would wake up tomorrow morning with either the huge task of getting the Church back on its feet or I would be searching for something else to do . . . vocationally speaking.

Being the Mission Pastor in this denomination meant I was not a member of the Church, instead, I was a member of the Presbytery in the region along with other pastors. And only those who could become members of our Church were permitted to attend the congregational meeting, thus I wouldn't be there. My wife, who was already a member, began to get ready for the evening. I would sit at home and watch the kids while awaiting the news. The rock in my gut had never left. I still couldn't eat.

Robin showed up for the meeting and was prevented from entering the sanctuary area. She would not be allowed to attend. The moderator (another presbyter pastor from the area) told her it would not be right and proper and that the people needed the freedom to speak their mind without fear of the pastor's wife hearing it. Robin was furious. She stomped off to my office and plopped down in my office chair. She didn't know what to do. She also wanted a chance to speak . . . but was refused. She called me and let me have an ear full that this was all so unfair since she was also a member and had a right to have a say. She hung up the phone and began to pray . . . and pray.

The meeting got underway and it wasn't long before the issue of whether to extend me the call to become their pastor was on the floor for discussion (Robert's Rules of Order). Robin finished praying and prepared to head home. As she stood up and headed for the door she heard something coming from the end of the wall. She could hear voices . . . voices that could be identified and understood . . . coming from where the wall met the glass that extended into the sanctuary. Voices were vehement and terse. There was anger and there was condemnation. Tears began streaming down her cheeks . . . she could not believe what she was hearing. Not able to take it anymore, she hurried out the door and drove home.

She burst into the house sobbing uncontrollably . . . "They are destroying you. They are literally destroying you, Rick. They are telling one lie after another and no one is questioning whether what they are saying is true or not. They are just letting them spew their wicked venom. And no one is saying anything. Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening. Oh my God. Lord Jesus help us."

I tried my best to hold her . . . but the pain I felt was doing something to me that had never happened before. I was beginning to go numb.

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"You know the glass window that goes from your office into the sanctuary? I could hear them. I could hear who said what. Oh my God. I can't believe this is happening," sobbing with her head in her hands.

The telephone rang . . . I took a deep breath and answered it . . . "Hello," I spoke in monotone.

"Rick, this is (so and so) . . . I just wanted to let you know we've finished the congregational meeting. Rick, the vote on whether to call you as the pastor was taken and it was 21 in favor and 22 against. I'm sorry, Rick. I'm really sorry."

I hung up the phone. It had happened. It had really happened. I felt like a Zombie . . . just going through the motions . . . but feeling absolutely nothing. I was completely numb. No anger . . . no sadness . . . no expression . . . just plain numb to the core.

The doorbell rang . . . it was my associate pastor. He didn't know what to say . . . it was awkward . . . and if he did say something . . . I didn't hear it. All I recall is that he sat on the sofa while a deafening silence coated the room. He only stayed for a few minutes. I didn't want him around me. He left. We never really spoke on a personal level again. It would be a long long time before I would speak with anyone on a personal level again . . . including my wife.

I went to bed. I wished Robin would stop sobbing. I wished the world would be quiet and let me alone . . . but it didn't.

. . . to be continued

. . . continued from my April 23 blog

2010-04-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

I'm back . . . sorry it's taken a little longer to return to this than I had anticipated. Excavating these events proved to be suffocating at times . . . like the dust and cobwebs one encounters in an old, old mineshaft . . . again, it's not easy . . . yet, I've discovered that there are so many whose lives are being touched because of this story. I'm grateful God is seeing fit to use it . . . may He continue to do so to His Glory. If you know of anyone you think might benefit from it . . . I want you to know that you have my permission to pass it on.

I've experienced a healthy dose of His life-changing Word this morning along with a wonderful prayer walk with my dear friend and brother, laying out my petitions while declaring thanks for His unending reservoir of goodness and grace. Now, on to the story . . .

"That's not fair!" Robin (my wife) exclaimed after hearing what the committee was requiring me to do.

"Robin, you need to be quiet throughout all this and let God work on Rick" the chairman snapped back ever so sternly.

I was dumbfounded . . . and confused . . . as a huge rock had landed in my gut. No one was offering any explanations. We left the meeting dazed and very sad. I would have a week to complete this assigned task as our Organization Service was now only two weeks away. Their goal was to have a fit congregation who could go forward as charter members. My three trainees had gone through their theological exercises and had been approved by the Committee as elders. On the day of Organization (March 17, 1991) three things were to happen . . .

1. The Charter Members would sign an official document agreeing that they were willing to become members of this Church.

2. The three trainees would be ordained as elders in Church.

3. I would be extended an official call to become their first pastor.

Up to this point this little group had been considered a Mission Church by our denomination and I was the Mission Pastor. Once the Official Organization went through and the denominational heads declared it so . . . it would become a 'Regular Church', no longer having Mission status . . . but instead . . . they would have official Church status within the denomination.

One of my superiors, the one who initially recruited me to come out to Tucson pulled me aside after the meeting and confided in me . . . he said, "Rick, I have a commitment to this Church. If it comes down to it and I find it necessary, I will not hesitate to throw you under the bus for the sake of the congregation." What a way to start a week.

Those seven days would be the pivotal point that would turn my life entirely upside down and affect it for years to come. All the education in the world could not have prepared me for this. I began to make my phone calls and set up appointments.

Rather than go into detail of what was said and by whom . . . I'm going to just offer some of the things that were said to me face to face that dreadful week.

I cannot convey facial expressions or body language that was on display . . . all I can tell you is that I'm glad you did not have to be there to experience the venom and unbridled hatred that spewed forth. The Committee had given permission for this group to display their depravity to the uttermost without any fear of retribution. They would have their say.

You know, when you enter something like this you wonder if something devious is going to be revealed about yourself. Some unknown sin you've committed. Something perhaps even demonic that you weren't aware of. Not only did I not want to do this because I didn't want to have face these people . . . but I was also afraid I might find something out about myself that I didn't want to know. Perhaps something I had missed that was so evident and easily seen by everyone else.

Here is a smattering of what was said . . .

"You don't have the gift of hospitality like a pastor should. A pastor's house should be open any time missionaries come through."

"You don't visit me enough."

"You didn't encourage me when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit."

"You didn't continue to help my family financially."

"You sold the Church organ without our permission."

"You wouldn't accept my membership even though I refused to be baptized. That should not have been an issue."

"I don't think you are right for this denomination."

Interestingly . . . nothing they said was tied to an overt sin issue. In fact, the issues seemed pretty petty on the surface . . . but then again . . . you didn't get to experience the poison in the tone. They might as well have uttered aloud every foul and vulgar thought that came across their mind's viewfinder . . . it wouldn't have been much different.

But there was no accusation of sin involved . . . now I was really puzzled.

During this time I was also meeting face to face with those who were excited about where we were going as a Church, who were satisfied and pleased to be members, but who did not have a clue what was going on behind the scenes. I couldn't say anything to them as well (remember, I had to meet with everyone). All I could do was ask their forgiveness for anything I might have done to offend them. Each of their responses was pretty much the same . . . first a look of bewilderment . . . and then an inquiry as to why I would even think it was necessary for me to ask them for forgiveness when I had done nothing wrong . . . and a quick question asking if they had done anything wrong to initiate this visit. I couldn't reply. I just thanked them and dismissed myself.

I spent of total of 55 hours meeting face to face with people that week. Accusations were hurled . . . some were just plain evil . . . a deep sense of hatred was on display removing any doubt how they felt about me. I stopped eating . . . completely. I found it hard to pray. I found it impossible to read the Word. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted it all to go away. The rock in my gut was going nowhere. This small band of spiritual ruffians were winning . . . and winning handily.

The final meeting was with a young man who requested that I meet with him and at least two of my elder trainees as witnesses. We agreed to meet at a local restaurant . . . I began to become fearful that now the secret sin would be revealed.

We sat down and ordered coffee and tea (I ordered water - I couldn't stomach anything else) . . . and began to talk. I had to continue with my speech and ask him for forgiveness for anything I might have done. He looked at me and in front of both of my elders said, "I can't forgive you." Not surprised by the answer as there were a number of people from this group that said they could not forgive me . . . he continued. "The reason I cannot forgive you is that I believe you are a false shepherd and therefore I should not have to forgive you. I should call you out for who you are."

Both of the elders looked on in disbelief. One of them spoke up . . . (remember, I couldn't say anything) . . . "Wow, that's a pretty serious accusation. Do you have proof? Is there sin that we don't know about?"

"No, there's not any of that. I just believe he's a false shepherd."

"But what evidence do you have? You can't just go around saying that."

"I don't have any evidence. I just feel it," he continued.

One of the elders just stared at him and said, "Are you telling me that even though you don't have anything to back this up . . . and even though Rick has asked forgiveness . . . you are still unwilling to forgive him?"

"That's correct," he replied.

There was silence . . . and then we left.

I went home . . . unable to share with Robin what had been said that week . . . the week that drained the very life out of my soul and crushed my spirit. All she could do was weep for me. She saw the agony and the pain. She knew I couldn't eat. She knew I needed help. But . . . following the directives of the committee . . . she left me alone.

The committee met with me again. I informed them that I had followed and completed their instructions. They began to discuss amongst themselves how to best proceed. I was silent. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to interact. So, I just answered questions when directed at me. No one said anything. What was supposed an exciting time in the life of this new Church . . . had become the moment of my greatest despair. It couldn't get any worse . . . could it? . . .

"Honey, you've got a phone call."

It was Saturday night, March 16, 1991. The day before the congregational meeting where all things would be decided.

The familiar female voice was weeping . . . "Rick, I am so sorry. I had no idea what was going on." She now began to sob in my ear. "I just received a phone call from (so and so) . . . and she came right out and asked me if I would consider voting 'No' in our congregational meeting tomorrow when the vote comes up on whether we want you as our pastor or not. She told me they were calling key people at the last minute and asking them to join them in the 'No' vote. Rick, I am so, so sorry. I don't know what to do. I am so sorry."

I replied, "Just vote your heart and do what God tells you tomorrow," and hung up the phone.

I knew it didn't look good . . . but by now . . . I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I hadn't committed an overt sin or done anything remotely unbiblical . . . but in this rowdy bunch's own self-scribed book of proper Church etiquette I had committed an unpardonable sin and there was no hope of recovery, forgiveness or restoration. I despaired, whatever would happen would happen. I knew this time tomorrow night all of this would be over . . . or so I hoped.

. . . to be continued

. . . continued from my April 22 blog

2010-04-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

Good day. Note that I rewrote a couple of sections of my blog yesterday to clarify and provide a little better grammatical description of my situation. Much in this effort is free writing. If you find infractions in my expression . . . I ask your forgiveness and encourage you to try to look beyond the errors and into the heart of what I was experiencing. Again, I've never ever written this stuff out . . . much less discussed it at depth with others. In fact, my wife was telling me yesterday that she is so glad that I am writing this out . . . but that most who read it do not know that I still find it hard to actually talk about it out loud, even twenty years later. This being a God thing . . . I am making every attempt to work through this in His timing one step at a time . . . not forcing any one's hand . . . including my own.

I'm a strange bird . . . I hate conflict . . . I will do just about anything to avoid it. If I know someone is loaded for bear and I am in their sights . . . I take every precaution to ensure that our eyes never lock. I guess I could be considered a pretty challenging moving target for anyone with those intentions.

At the same time . . . if I know someone has an issue with me and that I've possibly committed a wrong . . . I will be the first one to initiate a meeting to get things worked out. If others are in strife with each other I will seek to provide the necessary environment to make everything right once again. In fact, my kids have told me that if there is one thing they will always remember about me, it is this . . . if I am in the wrong . . . I am always the first to ask forgiveness. That's pretty cool coming from your kids.

On to my story . . .

Have you ever had someone in your Church body that you were just plain afraid of? You didn't like what they did . . . how they did it . . . you didn't care for the way they interacted with others . . . you didn't like how they proudly walked around as the spiritual bully on the congregational block. It was understood by all that you just didn't cross this person . . . man or woman. I can't narrow down my conflict in this situation to just one person . . . but it comes pretty close. A few months into our start a matriarchal couple showed up . . . ready to roll up their sleeves and jump in. It was great. They were very familiar with the denomination's practices and had grown up in the Church. The husband was a very genuine and kind fellow. Everyone loved being around him. There wasn't a mean bone in his body . . . no . . . all of that had been bottled up in his wife.

I didn't realize at first what had walked into my life. Things were great . . . we all seemed to be on the same page. We had a lot of common interests and with everything moving so fast . . . it was good having someone who seemed to want what you wanted out of Church life. Unbeknownst to me . . . this woman had walked into the Church with an invisible line drawn in the spiritual sand all around her . . . and at some point later in the year I stepped over it unaware . . . and things were set into motion that at best, left our little Church littered with spiritual garbage from the filthiest dump imaginable. Did I sign up for this?

This is stuff they don't teach you in your homiletics classes in seminary. Oh, they will provide class models for clinical studies of problem people . . . but they don't prepare you for the depravity of a person who has locked horns . . . loaded both barrels . . . strapped on their ammo belt . . . dug in their spurs . . . and will stop at nothing until they've completed what they've set out to do. I guess if there were one trait I admired . . . it was her bulldogged tenacity . . . be it misdirected (aimed directly at me) as it was.

So here I have these four or five families who would become my sole focus for the next six months. I preached . . . and preached . . . and then preached some more . . . thinking that if I could somehow, through a message, get them mad and fed up enough . . . they just might be convinced to take their toys and go elsewhere to play. Little did I know that they were thinking the same thing about me . . . that if they stuck it out long enough . . . I just might leave. Besides, they had an Ace up their sleeve . . . the upcoming 'Official Organization' of the Church slated for March of 1991. They seemed to be biding their time sensing they would still have their way in the matter.

"This is a Mustang Church . . . not a Cadillac Church. If you like Cadillacs and prefer Cadillac salesmen . . . there's a Cadillac Church down the street. Head over there. But DON'T try to make this Mustang Church a Cadillac Church. It will never happen!"

"This Church is like a puzzle with many pieces. Every one of us has a piece that is to fit into this Church Body. Some puzzles are simple and have only a few pieces while others are complex and have many pieces, but nevertheless, each of us is a piece of the puzzle. Now if you are a piece that doesn't fit this particular puzzle . . . don't try to force it to fit. You need to go find the right puzzle. You won't be happy until you do."

I used illustrations . . . I used Scripture . . . I cajoled . . . I yelled spiritual catcalls . . . I tried to coerce . . . but nothing moved them. With heals dug in, they sat there like lumps on a log. Unaffected . . . unmoved . . . and now more determined than ever to stay put.

The only thing those series of sermons did for anyone those six months was to make those that were happy in the Church very, very uncomfortable. They squirmed . . . they looked befuddled . . . they were like children who were being punished for something they didn't do. All done in the vain of misguided assumptions that I was protecting my sheep. God forgive me for being so stubborn and insensitive. This is one of the reasons (and there are several) I never went back into pastoring . . . I didn't trust myself. I couldn't believe what I was capable of.

During this most embarrassing time in my life . . . trying to use every device I could come up with to survive . . . something began to ever-so-slightly shift in my own life. It wasn't much . . . but it was something. I decided to stop hammering away in the pulpit and just put my nose to the grindstone in the work of the Church. I would pour my time into the study of the Word and training elders as we moved toward March next year.

I was now content to just ignore the problem families and get on with my calling . . . but the damage had already been done. They had been offended one too many times. They were now over the edge and more convinced than ever that I should not be there. Tough. I was moving on without them.

I spent the next six months teaching a very detailed chronology of the Life of Christ. I had gotten the idea from a Church I had attended years before. I had many fond memories of our experiences of finding out so much about the life of Jesus through that study that I thought . . . naively . . . you know, maybe just focusing on Jesus will solve all this stuff. Right. I wish.

During this time I had also carefully selected three men to enter elder training. I would take them through a six month process of training and acquainting them with the denomination's Book of Church Order. They were three men I truly respected . . . loved . . . and thought they were the best choices. Besides . . . they liked me too . . . they weren't troublemakers . . . and they might actually have my back as we moved toward our 'Official Church Organization' date. Having these guys in my corner made me feel a little better . . . for a bit . . .

"Rick, there are some people who have come forward who have very real issues with you. I don't think you realize how serious this is." said the moderator of the denomination's review committee. "We are requiring you to telephone each person in the Church and set up a one-on-one meeting with every one them . . . go to their house . . . sit in front of them and ask their forgiveness for anything you might had done to offend them . . . and . . . you are to let them talk and say anything they want . . . and you are hereby instructed further . . . you may not reply . . . you may not reason . . . you may not confront . . . you may not defend . . . you may not correct . . . you may not say a single word . . . you must just listen to what they have to say, thank them and then dismiss yourself. After you've met with all of them . . . then we will meet again."

I just sat there in disbelief . . . trying to take this all in. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be I thought to myself. I don't know if I can do that.

. . . to be continued.

. . . continued from my April 21 blog

2010-04-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

Note I'm not forgetting that I'm on my way to making a point about my piece of advice . . . advice I would offer if I knew that I wasn't going to be around much longer . . . the advice was this . . . Don't let a church's teachers and/or sermons replace your own personal study of the Word of God.

I am diverging a bit as this journey of following Jesus some 20 years after this point in my life plays a huge part in who I am today and why I say and react the way I do and why I would seek to offer any advice at all. So please bear with me a bit longer.

One correction so far . . . I mentioned the Grand Opening of the Church was September 2007. It was actually a Sunday after Black Monday. Black Monday happened October 19, 1987. My superiors thought we needed to launch in early fall but locating the right facility and the build out did not happen in time. We actually hit the ground running in late October.

What I didn't mention is that we arrived in Tucson to begin the Church plant in July. I traveled to Tucson in March to meet with a tiny core group of people who wanted a new Church plant. It was a group of about 25 and they were very desirous of obtaining what they believed was the formula for getting off on the right foot . . . a young pastor who had lots of energy and ideas for moving ahead. After visiting with them I returned to Chicago . . . my superior called me and let me know their vote was unanimous . . . they wanted us there. The salary was pretty good. My wife was pregnant with our first child . . . I had just passed ordination examinations . . . and was set to graduate in May. Nothing like having a place to go to when you graduate.

On a side note . . . yes . . . ordination exams. In the particular denomination I was a member of at that time they prided themselves in the doctrinal purity of the Reformed Faith. They maintained it by a thorough examination process that would weed out those less qualified for the pastoral field. Believe me . . . they were not afraid to say, "No," if they felt it wasn't right. You had to be capable of repeating and defending their brand of the faith in detail. The process was quite straightforward . . . you had to do an internship . . . you had to then take a written exam which contained dozens and dozens of pages filled with every question imaginable concerning the Church, doctrine and practice . . . if you passed . . . you were then grilled by the Candidates and Credentials Committee for three or four hours . . . usually by two or three of their most cerebral professor types who loved to bask in the rays of the denomination's doctrines both day and night. If you made it through that . . . you were then presented to the entire body of elders, professors, pastors, and braineeacks for examination . . . you sat in a chair in front of them (anywhere from 50-150 men) while all eyes are on you . . . and for the next three or four hours they took their spiritual pokes at you asking you to defend anything they felt needful or necessary, from the hot topic of the day to something buried back in the annals of church history. No subject was spared.

After the examination they would dismiss you and then discuss your application for as long as it took (sometimes an hour or two depending upon how you performed before them). In my particular case there was only one concern I knew of from a chaplain who was troubled that I could not adequately defend the case for infant baptism. I didn't grow up in a church and my early years in the faith were spent in the Southern Baptist Church . . . and this was a major issue for him. I believe when the vote was taken he either voted against or abstained. Not to worry . . . they lived by Robert's Rules of Order so a 51% majority was all that was needed. I WAS IN!

Now, back to my story . . .

You know it's interesting what a person will do to survive and the lengths they will go to ensure a future. I thought I had taken the right road . . . it was either me or them . . . and to be honest . . . I wanted them out. But how could I do it? Again, I couldn't talk to anyone. My church planting buddies in other parts of the Country only called to compare notes on attendance and who was having success with what.

So, like the song, Takin' it to the Streets . . . out of desperation and my own recipe of vengeance . . . I took it to the pulpit. It was the only place I knew of where I could make my case and they would just have to sit there and listen. By golly, if they were going to insist on sticking around . . . I wanted them to know how it was going to be. So, for the next six months every sermon I crafted was undeniably directed toward the discontent in the Church. I'm not proud to say that . . . but I would be lying if I presented it any other way. I really did feel I had a righteous anger and felt I was being persecuted for my beliefs that were moving more and more outside the box. Bottom-line, I think it was really that I didn't like them and they didn't like me . . . and since they were going to take the opportunity to rag on my faults to others without me around . . . I would do it to their faces from the pulpit. Sad. Really sad.

Now some might assume from my story that the issue arose from the Charismatic movement and their rejection of it. That was not the case. I was not a Charismatic. There was so much more to it . . . bitterness . . . backbiting . . . gossip . . . lies . . . etc.. The accusation of being a Charismatic was merely the final straw that broke my spiritual back.

I'm going to take a chance here and confess a few things about myself . . . glitches in my life that defined this moment I found myself in and influenced actions that were taken.

First and foremost . . . I am afraid of people . . . I can't hold my own in a conversation with others . . . I'm the guy no one gravitates to when there's a crowd . . . in groups I find myself lonely. Perhaps it's because I look sad or unhappy (my Polish demeanor maybe) and no one wants to be around someone like that. Oh I've developed a few coping mechanisms to cover it up pretty convincingly . . . and through all of this God has become truly God in my life when I needed Him most . . . when I felt solitary in both life and spirit. I still struggle seeing Him as a friend because I don't know what it's like to be or have a friend in the truest sense. Fortunately I've got two guys in my life that know more about me than anyone else . . . and yet we still have our own limitations and reservations with each other. It's not their fault. It's my own glitch.

Secondly . . . I am a people-pleaser . . . it devastates me when I think someone doesn't like me. I grew up in an environment where I could never do anything worthy in the eyes of the men in my family. Thus I had no one who was willing to accept the responsibility as a role model for me. I never felt accepted much less loved by the men who meant the most in my life. I never knew my real father. We lived with my grandparents the first five years of my life. I was always held at arms length by my grandfather, I was tolerated by my step father (my mother remarried when I was 12). I was sexually abused by my uncle. These were my greatest influences growing up. And you know, it seemed the harder I tried to gain their acceptance the more they distanced themselves from me. Oh, they wouldn't come out and say it . . . but their actions spoke volumes. Thus I have always used a filter for the things I choose to do in my life . . . the filter of questioning whether people would accept me and perhaps even come to admire something about me. Everything I was was cinched down tightly to what I did. That's been a tough road to walk.

Thirdly . . . I have trust issues . . . to me, trust is at the root of a relationship. If I can't trust you . . . we don't have a relationship . . . period. And watch out if you betray me. I will have my measure of vengeance (in a polite and civil way of course). I consider myself a very trustworthy person and I demand the same in return. You know . . . when a person walks around with an attitude like that he can run into real forgiveness issues. Duh! We all mess up. We all mess up with each other. And sometimes we mess up really really bad, like in this situation.

Now, it's taken an awful lot to actually pen these things out for all to see. And it wouldn't be right to just leave them there stewing in their own sauce. I have to declare that while these are very real and definable glitches in my personal makeup . . . they do not describe who the new Rick is. They only give you a little window into who the old Rick was. While I still struggle with the old stuff . . . I openly declare that God has stood with me through all my weirdness and instability. He has offered to help me with the fears and insecurities I face. He continues to assure me that I am to be only concerned with pleasing Him and that He is pleased with me (at least most of the time) and that I can completely and wholly trust Him . . . a trust that He forgives to the uttermost . . . a trust that He has no limitations or reservations in our relationship. Knowing that . . . and finally coming to believe and accept it . . . has really given me something intangible yet oh so real . . . a hope and assurance that things don't have to always remain as they were.

So my story continues . . . tomorrow . . . Lord willing.

. . . continued from my April 20 blog

2010-04-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

There's a lot to be said for the spiritual gift of discernment. Looking back . . . I wished I had had it, or I wished I were wise enough to have surrounded myself with those who possessed the gift . . . I wished I had had the sense to inquire and then listen . . . really listen . . . so much heartache, pain and spiritual devastation could have been avoided.

But when so many things are happening at once forcing you to bounce from one exciting opportunity to the next . . . that's usually the furthest thing from your mind. You reason . . . everything is on the up and up . . . the growing congregation is all abuzz . . . new faces are in the crowd every week . . . what could possibly be bad about this?

Oh, believe me . . . it can be bad.

Like Roy Hobbs' confession in the Natural when reflecting upon the tragedy of his past . . . he declares . . . "I should have seen it coming . . . but I didn't." And as a result of his failing to see the danger he walked into, his world was set on end. You know, it's amazing how I can choose to close my eyes to the writing on the wall . . . to obvious danger signs . . . refusing to believe it could actually happen . . . all in the name of pushing a Church forward toward a deadline.

A people . . . a people who have an agenda . . . a people who have a history . . . a people who left another congregation because they couldn't play nice with others . . . have now shown up on my doorstep. Naively thinking that my Church could somehow be different for them . . . I let them in . . . one family after another . . . ignoring their tone of confession heard in their freely expressed voice of dissatisfaction describing how they had vacated this and that Church because of something someone else did or didn't do. All of them had left either mad or disappointed that someone had not lived up to their expectations.

You know it only takes five or six families like that to reek havoc in a group this size . . . and it is a fascinating study to see how quickly these dissatisfied strangers can navigate and locate each other in a congregation . . . kinda like an internal GPS that's running all the time. But you know what the saddest thing is? Young, unsuspecting believers are seen by this group as prey for the bagging . . . and are treated as prized acquisitions if they can be convinced to come over to the 'dark' . . . oops . . . I mean 'their' side.

What did I do about it? Regrettably, I did absolutely nothing . . . I turned a blind eye to it . . . I let them set up shop . . . I let them get together and compare notes . . . I let them get involved in some things together . . . take over and run some ministries. Hey, I needed the help . . . and remember . . . discernment wasn't at the top of my needs list at the moment. Getting this Church off the ground in the time frame my superiors had set for me was top priority.

Now, during this ramp up I want you to know that I also had a larger, but much more quiet group who were an absolute delight to work with. They were kind . . . they loved others . . . they didn't have to get their way . . . they enjoyed serving . . . they loved learning . . . and best of all . . . they weren't mean.

So . . . who did I choose to spend most of my time with? You guessed it.

But little did I know two years into the Church's life there was a hushed campaign against me set into motion. Mind you . . . I doubt there were planning meetings . . . there wasn't an official conspiracy set in place (that I know of) . . . but there were those of influence (now that they were involved in ministry) spearheading a movement to make sure that I would not be extended the opportunity to serve as their pastor on the day of the Church's official organization . . . which was still about a year off. You know, now that I think about it . . . I would have been embarrassed to share that with anyone ten years ago . . . fearful that I might look inferior in my ability to pastor. It's amazing what ten years of a passionate pursuit of God can do for you.

Here's the rub . . . when I began to hear these things . . . I didn't know what to do. I was in the remote part of the Southwest now faced with having to fend for my survival. There were no advisers . . . no mentors . . . other pastors in the denomination had their own set of issues they were dealing with (since most were in small struggling churches) . . . I was on my own.

So I kept my mouth shut hoping for a miracle that God would get rid of these troublemakers . . . I now had to be careful who I talked to . . . for these families had weaved their sticky, tacky web throughout the Church . . . into the finances . . . into the youth group . . . into the children's nursery . . . etc. All under the guise of wanting to help as a volunteer . . . hey, who can turn away a warm body who's willing to help out . . . big mistake!

Again, I kept my mouth shut . . . for a bit.

During this time I was trying different approaches to the worship experience. I sold the Church organ (huge issue!) and purchased an electric keyboard. I asked a couple of guys who played the guitar and bass to make a commitment to start a worship team. My wife, Robin, is a vocalist who also got involved along with a couple of other women. We pulled out some Maranatha and Integrity songs and made an attempt to move into the contemporary world. A buddy of mine who started a Church at the same time I did had located and employed a recording artist as his worship leader and they were off and running. I wanted to do the same thing . . . but my resources were very limited . . . we would still give it a try. We purchased a PA system. We tried to make music a very important part of the service.

Then it happened . . . on one of our first attempts . . . I gave permission to anyone in the congregation who felt compelled to raise their hands during worship as an expression of their love and surrender to God. I didn't apply any pressure. There were no expectations. Just permission given. With the reaction I received you'd have thought I had invited Satan to come in a have a seat on the front row. Mind you, I didn't see it immediately on their faces. They were civil and seemingly unaffected . . . but oh was I wrong . . . oh so wrong.

Meetings were requested . . . I was to be accused of trying to hijack this Church with the devious intention of becoming another Jim and Tammy Bakker movement. They ever-so-seriously looked at me and said, "Your wife sings like Tammy. She wears make-up (not as much as Tammy) like her. You are having us raise our hands. We are singing songs they sing. And you're not concerned that this could become a movement like theirs?" They weren't joking.

Later that week I received an anonymous letter that had been written in a way as to conceal the identity of the sender. The writing was a jiggly and squirmy mess and there was no return address on it. It was a one page letter written in the same jiggly and squirmy fashion that stated this . . . and I'm not kidding . . . "YOU ARE A CHARISMATIC! GET OUT OF THIS CHURCH!! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!!!"

This made me mad . . . really, really mad. It was time to act.

I must stop for today . . . come back later this week for the continuation of the saga if you like . . .

Continued from my April 17 blog . . .

2010-04-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

Glad you are back.

My next piece of advice would be this . . .

Don't let a church's teachers and/or sermons replace your own personal study of the Word of God.

Before I share my .02 on this . . . a bit of background that I haven't revealed to anyone for some twenty years since I've been out of the 'official' pastoral ministry . . .

I was trained in the hey day of what is called the Church growth movement (the '80's) . . . After I received my graduate degree in Chicago I was recruited by my denomination to venture out to the far reaches of America (Tucson, AZ) and plant/start a Church. They assured me they would provide all the necessary tools . . . and . . . if I used them the way they were supposed to be used . . . based upon their demographic calculations and experiences in other parts of the Land . . . I would be a success. Success defined as growing the Church to a stable size with a good number of those willing to become charter members . . . becoming self-sufficient and no longer dependent upon the denomination's till for support . . . and a stable of elders who could govern the Church according to the denomination's Book of Church Order.

I tried my darndest to follow the formula of the three 'C's' (I used the three C's as my own memory device to describe what I was taught in my plethora of Church growth summits)

The first C: I needed to be 'Clever' - I was expected to live on the cutting edge of what was going on in Church growth . . . always one step ahead of the culture . . . poised to quickly adopt some new idea or approach as it peeked over the horizon . . . whether it be something new from the field of Church growth or something I could glean from successful businessmen swimming in the channel of success. If the business model would attract more people . . . I was instructed to go for it . . . and I did.

The second C: I needed to make it 'Convenient' - I had to face it . . . I was competing in a culture that was very, very busy. Sports, hobbies, plays, recitals, vacations, work around the yard, trips to the doctor and dentist, parties, family outings, one-day trips, birthdays, etc. were considerations I had to keep in mind as I planned out how this thing would work. Any outreach or Church gatherings I wanted to schedule had to be first coordinated with several key volunteer families who were . . . you guessed it . . . very very busy. When it was convenient . . . we moved ahead . . . always keeping in mind that schedules played a huge role in planning and if something more important arose . . . well . . . I would just have to understand.

The third C: I needed to make them 'Comfortable' - Surroundings were critical to the person's receptiveness to the spin I was to put on the Gospel. Living in the Southwest, we rented a very nice facility as suggested by my superiors . . . and decorated it with the most tasteful color pattern (teal and salmon) and attractive interior decor we could afford. The A/C was always on . . . the soft, cushy chairs were always neatly arranged . . . not too close and not too many in a row (it might make it difficult for one to exit the row should they have to excuse themselves) . . . the carpet was always clean . . . windows were always washed . . . and the nursery always had enough Baby Wipes on hand. I remember once the build out had been completed I just sat in the large vacant room saturated with the smell of new carpet and new fabric and imagined it filled with families who wouldn't mind at all coming back to a lovely place like this.

Well, with all the planning and preparation . . . we finally set a date for the 'Grand Opening' of our new Church in the community. That was September 1987. Cute, imaginative direct mail post cards were sent to 10,000 residents in our area. Preparations for a truck load of snacks and drinks were on hand to welcome our prospective inquirers . . . I was told they needed something to munch on after the service and that this would provide an atmosphere for 'fellowship'.

From a purely marketing aspect . . . that Sunday was quite the success. Over 300 first timers attended. My superiors were pleased. I preached on investing in God . . . using the recent Black Monday tragedy on the Wall Street as my springboard. We did our very best to capture the mailing address from each family in attendance so we could develop an information channel through the mail. We were on our way . . .

The following Sunday is considered your litmus test for real success. After the hype of the Grand Opening . . . now a short-lived memory . . . who would show up the next week? Monday morning we were quick to send out our next cute, imaginative mailing hoping to pique the interest of families who might be willing to join up with this band of mega Church wannabes. Guess what? One hundred and seventy-five returned . . . we managed to keep between 125-175 in the congregation for the next three years. Forget the fact that we weren't really reaching out to the lost . . . but merely reshuffling the Christian card deck . . . heck, we were a 'sizable' group . . . I had something to work with . . . I could begin the task of shaping and molding them into what I thought God would want them to be.

And then . . .

You don't see it coming . . . or if you do . . . you somehow reason that if you ignore it long enough . . . it will go away on its own. Problem people . . . self-proclaimed experts on what's wrong with your Church . . . those you permitted to be shuffled in from an old card deck . . . assuring you they were there to help . . . bluffing their way into your good graces . . . when all they really wanted was to replace your existing card deck with theirs.

Wow . . . revisiting this has been tough to wade through . . . I want to get the story right . . . and I think I'm on mental overload for the moment.

I gotta stop here today . . . more in a day or two . . . if you are interested . . .

. . . continued from my April 14 blog . . .

2010-04-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm still here, so you are stuck with me for a bit longer. I've reread my last blog and I would have to conclude that I did say what I wanted to say . . . if that were to be my final parting thought in this life. I hope . . . for your sake . . . that this exercise is something you might consider doing yourself sometime soon. What would you want to tell those left behind? What legacy or memory would you most like to have others to take hold as a result of you being a part of their lives? I know the Evil One is working overtime to keep you and me busy . . . so busy in fact . . . that . . . if we let him get away with it . . . we will have little time to ponder things eternal. I don't know about you, but that's something I think I, personally, could do a little more of . . .

Now, what else could I share with you if I were vacating this planet and had only a few more sentences to write? . . . remember, I told you that this is probably not going to look like what you might expect . . . so get ready . . .

Here is one of the most important foundational concepts I would share with any Christian trying to make an impact on their world . . .

KNOW YOUR PRESUPPOSITIONS . . . . what in the world do I mean by that?

You see, every one of us lives, moves, breathes, makes decisions, etc., from very basic presuppositions. And these presuppositions are core to how we will choose to live in this world.

Let me put it this way . . . those who believe in evolution . . . that man evolved over the eons to what he is today . . . those who believe that man is the center of the universe and that he should be revered and served . . . those who believe that all that we see around us is not here by design but by chance and circumstance . . . those who believe that everything is relativistic and changes based upon the needs of the moment . . . are ALL based upon basic presuppositions . . . whether they want to admit it or not. Those belief systems described here have a presupposition that God does not exist . . . or if He does exist . . . that's He's merely set things within the universe into motion and has left everything to develop in a naturalistic fashion.

Here's the rub with those ideas . . . these people will declare (quite insistently too) to the world's inhabitants that we all should have an open mind and be tolerant of every belief system around us . . . because each of us is on our own path of discovery. Thus when a Christian holds to and tries to discuss a belief system other than what these proponents believe to be correct . . . those who hold to this world system can become hateful . . . venomous . . . and even vindictive . . . willing to single out, persecute, isolate, exclude and demean Christians . . . all the while declaring of themselves that they are the ones with an open mind.

Do you see a basic flaw here? It's huge . . .

These people . . . just like us . . . just like anyone else in the world . . . are working from basic presuppositions. But they don't want you to see or understand that this might be case. They want you to think that what they are purporting is the real truth. And if their crowd is large enough and if they are vocal enough and if they write enough about it . . . then you are less likely to challenge it or even question it.

Friend, this intellectual bullying should be flatly rejected. You don't have to take a back seat to their message that is being cloaked as unchallengeable truth. Don't acquiesce for even a minute to their belief system (no matter how loud and insistent they become) . . . because it isn't fact . . . it is a belief system based solely upon presuppositions. Rest assured they will attempt to intimidate you with circular questions and accusations toward your God that just can't be answered in the here and now. Their goal is to bully you into silence. Like it or not, it is a world system developed by the ultimate God-hater . . . Satan himself and his plan is now being carried out by an unsuspecting world.

How should we feel? What should we do?

I'm not going to tell you how to address various world systems here . . . I'm just going to give you some very simple advice to stand on . . . it is this

Having said . . . KNOW YOUR PRESUPPOSITIONS . . . and having described in simple fashion what that is . . . this is my advice . . . you need to work unashamedly and confidently from a basic belief that what you believe about God is true without apology, fear or hesitation.

What those bullies don't want you to see is that everyone, no matter who they are, is working from presuppositions. And they sure don't want you to see that your presuppositions as a Christian are just as valid as theirs. I really think that once you begin to believe and live like you have very valid presuppositions, just as valid as theirs . . . you will begin to move about in this world without fear or intimidation . . . having a better understanding of where you are as well as where others are coming from. They want you to think they are arriving at truth from their unpolluted, pure and unadulterated examination of the world . . . whereas all they are really doing is seeking to give an answer for our existence without God in the mix.

My goal is to see you rock solid in your faith. So, for the Christian, what is the most basic presupposition that we work from? Personally, I work from the presupposition that there is a God and that He has faithfully revealed Himself . . . who He is . . . what He has done . . . and where He is taking this world . . . all of this . . . in the Bible. That's my most basic presupposition.

You see, you can't escape it . . . it really is a 'faith' thing. AND it's also a faith thing on their end too. They can't prove evolution . . . they can't prove man is the center of the universe . . . they can't prove that relativism is the prescribed way we should live . . . it's all based upon faith and the presupposition that what we have chosen to believe is true.

For me . . . since God cannot be proved . . . but instead, I purport that God is to be believed . . . I choose to have faith in God and my faith in God allows the events in this world that I witness to make sense. Just as the evolutionist who examines this world seems to find proof after proof that we are all here by chance . . . we need to understand that his experience in the world must fit his presupposition that there is no God.

So, as you can probably tell . . . I'm not one for trying to prove the existence of God by philosophical or scientific arguments . . . while they can still be used as a witness tool to what I hold to as truth . . . I still believe it is a matter of faith . . . but that by no means implies that I need move around in this world thinking the world has one up on me because they can reason better than I. I need not be intimidated by those noisier than I. My presupposition that God exists and has shown Himself reliably in the Bible is sufficient proof in my life for me and for anyone willing to examine my life.

So, if I choose to work from my presuppositions . . . and I desire to speak to others about Jesus Christ . . . how do I go about it? For the Christian, we dare not forget our 'trump' card . . . the Holy Spirit. I really do believe that those who do not see God are blinded . . . unless the Spirit gives them eyes to see. This is based upon my presupposition that what I believe God says in the Bible is true. And if I really believe this . . . it should radically effect my manner of prayer for others.

Two helpful verses from the Bible come to mind (yes, I unashamedly believe that they are true to the hilt) that I hope will bolster and fortify your faith and confirm why you choose to believe in God.

I Corinthians 2: "The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God's Spirit and our spirits in open communion. Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's Spirit is doing, and can't be judged by unspiritual critics. Isaiah's question, "Is there anyone around who knows God's Spirit, anyone who knows what he is doing?" has been answered: Christ knows, and we have Christ's Spirit."

Hebrews 11: ". . . without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

KNOW YOUR PRESUPPOSITIONS my friend. Don't let the world's vain philosophies or scientific exercises lead you astray or strike fear in your heart. Stay strong and confident in the Lord . . . for He is coming soon.

More to come this week if you are interested . . .

2010-04-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

Just before we left for our trip to Africa last September I took the time to write out a document of important information for my kids . . . instructions on what to do and who to contact should something happen to us . . . account numbers . . . where things are . . . what needs to be done . . . etc. Neither of them liked receiving it because of its implications . . . but they both agreed that it needed to be done. It was quite an exercise thinking through that stuff.

In that same vain . . . I thought to myself . . . if I were to somehow discover that this would be my last time to share with you before I passed into the next life . . . what would I say? What could I leave with you that would merit any real and perhaps lasting value? A nice once in a lifetime photo that would keep the memories alive? A song? A poem? A parting letter? I've thought about that long and hard for some time . . . and I must say . . . it's not an easy thing to consider. Expressing your true and perhaps final thoughts and feelings is never easy to do . . . but it's an exercise I'm going to attempt to do here.

First and foremost, know this, if this were my final expression of myself I would make every effort to lay out what I believe is the most important message ever presented to mankind . . . but that message would probably look quite different than you might be used to. I'm not going to hurry here . . . because . . . even though you may not find it critical to consider it in your own life . . . there might be a person or two out there that are needing to hear it . . . also I am going to write as if I were talking directly and personally to you.

Romans 10 says, ". . . how can people call for help if they don't know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven't heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it?"

What I would like to say first is this . . . My friend, my prayer is that there would be a passionate desire in you to be one of those who will speak up for Jesus Christ and tell others openly and honestly what God is doing in this world . . . what He has done . . . what He is accomplishing now . . . and what He will surely do in the future. The people of this world are calling out if you will just take a moment and listen . . . you can hear their cries for help . . . they need some Good News . . . they need someone to believe in . . . they need to know there is One they can trust without reservation or qualification . . . they are looking for someone to pin their hopes upon who won't let them down . . . who won't abandon them or change the requirements of the relationship mid-stream.

My hope is that you would take this very simple message from your heart's voice to those you meet . . . "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.""

I confess that this has not been my message I've presented to friends, family and acquaintances for much of my life . . . but as the decades have come and gone . . . I have come to see that there is no more important message that should be upon my lips. Don't wait until your twilight years have crept upon you to take this message to heart and then to others. What will you tell God . . . I didn't have the time while I was young? I urge you . . . take hold of it now. First, make sure you yourself understand it . . . believe it . . . trust in it . . . cling to it . . . and then speak it. It is our only hope for a future beyond this brief vapor we call life on earth. I love the last part of the verse . . . "Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced." Amen.

You might be saying . . . I do that already . . . or . . . I'm willing to give that a try . . . What now? Believing and confessing are words pregnant with meaning and their implications for us are at the very least . . . radical and life altering.

If I am still around later this week . . . I will offer a bit of advice I have picked up while upon my simple pilgrimage of following Jesus Christ through this life with regards to believing and confessing . . . there's just so much to it that begs our journey of exploration into things eternal.

. . . to be continued . . . if the Lord wills . . . if not . . . know that I am in a better place.

Following Hard,
Rick Furmanek

2010-04-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Another Easter has come and gone. We've removed our Sunday best . . . sermons have been assessed . . . hard-boiled eggs have been discarded . . . chocolaty hands have been washed . . . Easter dinner has been consumed . . . goodbyes to family members have been said. Any vestiges we might have had of this Easter now only serve as a memory . . . Now what? Easter has come and gone . . . what difference did it make?

Think with me for a moment. What will be our remnants of this Easter? Another trip to the cleaners? A funny story the pastor told to make you smile? The smell of rotten eggs? (you discovered this morning that the kids didn't find them all) Stained hands from the Easter egg dye? Sugar-highs from all the sweets? A few extra pounds from the 'food coma' you voluntarily entered into with your second and third helping? An inflated credit card bill when you volunteered to cover the meal for everyone? Sore feelings from relatives who just can't seem to get along? What is it from this Easter season that you will take with you into this week, this month, this year?

The Arizona Republic released an article on Sunday entitled, "Easter losing status among U.S. holidays". I must say that I'm not surprised. Not that I'm a fan of Easter as a nationally celebrated holiday . . . but the trend is quite simple to assess . . . just as Christmas is becoming less and less popular nationally . . . so Easter is on the downswing . . . Why? To surmise . . . these two holidays are specifically associated with Christianity . . . and that doesn't bode too well in our growing intolerant pluralistic society who believes that we should all be able to COEXIST (you've seen the bumper sticker), each having his or her own religion of equal standing in society. To be honest and forthright . . . Christianity cannot be pluralistic . . . based on the teachings of Jesus Christ. I'm sorry . . . but any which way you look at it . . . it just won't happen. You see, Jesus himself was not tolerant of other faiths . . . and that's the rub for many Americans who want to believe that all roads eventually will lead to Rome. Again, any casual reading of the words of Jesus Christ will reveal that He declared of Himself that He is the only Way, the only Truth and the only Life and that no one can come to God except through Him. You can't skirt Jesus Christ to get to God. As our Country grows more and insistent that all faiths be recognized and some preferred over others . . . expect our so-called 'Christian' holidays to become less and less popular and even replaced with 'feel good' days where all of society can get in on the celebration. That may not be a bad thing for the Church as it will ferret out those who want the best of both worlds . . . those want to have their chocolate Easter bunny and eat it too. You might ask . . . aren't I being a little too narrow-minded here? Did you know that most anywhere you look in the Bible it speaks of a remnant of people? . . . note it is a very large remnant compiled through the ages . . . but still quite small compared to the rest of humanity who will continue to reject God and His provision for salvation as long as they have breath. Let's face it . . . it's not too popular to come to grips with who we really are and who God really is and what really needs to happen to right the ship . . . and believe me . . . it's more than just a little adjustment in life.

I'm getting ahead of myself here . . . this is going to be a two-part blog. In part two I'm going to talk about what the Bible says are the consequences of following Jesus Christ . . . what are the pros and cons of entering into a relationship with God? I'll touch on that a little more in a bit . . . but my final thought here . . .

I asked earlier . . . what did we take with us from this Easter? Only we can answer that for ourselves. But that has lead me to another question . . . what is it that Jesus Christ took with Him from that first Resurrection Sunday? Think about that for a moment . . . what did Jesus actually take with Him? First, I know what He didn't take with Him . . . His grave clothes. He left those behind. In the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ . . . yes, He actually physically opened His eyes, breathed again, sat up, and looked back at the seemingly finality of death and proclaimed, "O Death, where is your sting?" . . . Jesus left the remnants of the grave in the tomb . . . never to visit the halls of death again. His message from that day forward is "Life! Life to the fullest!"

Now, what did Jesus take with Him that first Easter morning? Here are a couple of things that come to mind:

A new body . . . He was released from the limitations of this world by yielding Himself to the Father's will. While He was recognizable, He was different. His body stopped decaying that Sunday morning and eternity set in.

A new power . . . to those that would hear, Jesus, in one final act, removed the one great equalizer for all mankind . . . death. He has given His followers a one-up on the grave. From now on His followers would refer to those who have passed away as being 'asleep' knowing full well that this expiration of dust and water was only a doorway for moving from this life into the next.

Finally, a new title . . . Jesus was no longer to be remembered as the Suffering Savior who died a criminal's death on the cross for our wrongdoing . . . but He is now to be seen as the risen Lord and King who has done everything necessary to make a way for us. His suffering, obedience and death was the path to His coronation as our great and mighty King and this Kingdom of His will never ever end.

That's a pretty awesome thing if you take a moment and just ponder that. But to go even further, Jesus Himself desires that we take more than memories of heartburn and rowdy kids from this Easter. In His unconditional love . . . He has offered to us, just like He received . . . a new body, a new power and a new title . . . but . . . and this is a very big but . . . there is a price. So I asked myself this morning . . . if I were preaching an Easter message this past Sunday and I knew it was going to be the last time I would ever speak . . . what would I say?

. . . to be continued

2010-03-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Do I need a break from God?

What an absurd question . . . Scripture tells us to be not only hearers of the Word . . . but to also be doers of the Word. To put it another way . . . my actions or lack thereof will reveal my true view of God and where I am with Him. This has implications that a person can actually fake their way through life (content to being a hearer only) . . . to a certain extent . . . but like my last blog on the importance of words and how they reveal things about you . . . so too, my actions will eventually tell on me. I ask, am I a doer of the Word?

This really struck home this past week as we traveled to California to see my son and daughter-in-law and to watch him play a three game series at UCLA. It was a mini-vacation . . . a time to get away . . . I was really looking forward to it.

Here's what happened . . . I did things I normally wouldn't do . . . I watched things I normally wouldn't watch . . . I thought things I normally wouldn't think . . . I kept silent when I normally would speak up . . . I neglected God in ways I normally wouldn't have done so at home.

This got me to thinking . . . why is it that I think, whether it be in my sub-conscious or at the forefront of my thoughts, that I can take a vacation from my pursuit of God, even for a day? The Bible says that I am to follow hard after God . . . but to be honest . . . for three days I hardly followed at all. I served myself . . . I pampered myself . . . I gratified myself with very little thought of God. Mind you, I didn't pursue evil things . . . but I didn't pursue God either. It was all about me. I deserved the prescheduled break . . . or so I reasoned.

So I ask myself . . . do I deserve periodic breaks from my Creator? Can I travel to places where He will not be? Is there an allotted time once or twice a year where He will just let me be and not expect too much from me? Can I let my hair down and forego my relationship with Him for just a bit?

Just pondering this took me to another level of self-examination . . . can God trust and rely upon me when I venture outside the confines of my regular routine with Him? Normally I get up in the morning . . . I try to do a prayer walk . . . I spend time in His Word. I seek to have His Holy Spirit guide me . . . I meditate . . . I prepare to follow in His footsteps for the day and then move out.

But when I find myself in a different environment, like a vacation . . . will I go the extra mile to ensure that those elements that make up my pursuit of Him are in tact and being exercised? Or do I resign myself that it will be different for just a week or so and then I'll jump back into it? You know, I can fully dumb myself down and convince myself this can be reasonable for a brief time . . . but then I ask myself . . . How does that set with God? Part of me doesn't want to ask that . . . because down deep I know what the answer will be. It's like the prophecy describing those who don't want to know the truth being compared to people who stick their fingers in their ears and yell, "La, La, La, La, La."

So, can I take a break from God like I can my job? I just don't think it works like that. If Jesus was our example . . . then remember what He did when He needed to get away from the requirements of the day . . . it was to spend time pressing in harder . . . . it was to increase His focus on what God wanted Him to do . . . it was time allotted for concentrated prayer and meditation. Now that would make an interesting vacation . . . mind you, it wouldn't fulfill my personal rights (remember my last blog) to experience the momentary pleasures I've earned . . . but then again, it just might revolutionize my relationship with my Heavenly Father . . . and that would be a good thing.

2010-03-17T16:32:00.000-07:00

It has been a time of exciting victories . . . answered prayer and profound spiritual lessons.

From my son's struggle at the plate (he plays baseball for ORU) and my open declaration on his behalf resulting in his success . . . to my daughter-in-law's Father miraculously coming to grips with his alcoholism and admitting himself to a Christian oriented rehab center . . . to a dear brother completely opening up the secret places of his heart for healing . . . to an absolutely splendid time of community prayer and sharing where confessions were heard and dreams were set into motion. What a week! And it's only Wednesday!

These fleeting moments in my life serve to remind me that our great and mighty God is committed to acting on the smallest details of our lives. You know, He really is on our side.

So, what new lesson shall I add to the mental bookshelf of my spiritual pilgrimage this week? What truth has God impacted me with most? If I step back and have a look, I can see there's been common thread sewn through all of these separate events . . . as well as some I haven't even mentioned . . . a thread that profoundly affected the outcome of each situation. And just what is this thread? It was this . . . the proper use of WORDS, in particular words about and to my God.

Think with me for a moment . . . with regards to our Heavenly Father, why do we pray aloud? Why do we speak audibly with Him? Is it really essential that we do so? Some might protest, can't we just keep quiet . . . keep to ourselves and let our faith grow in silence? I ask, can spiritual formation and transformation be experienced in any fashion or form without the use of speech? That question is what led me on this path I'm on today.

Let's go a little further here . . . Does God at some level need to hear me speak aloud? Does He require that my vocal chords begin vibrating, transforming into words and utterances before He will act on my behalf? No. He doesn't need our words to hear and act. So, you might say, isn't silently bowing my head sufficient for my relationship with God? Why the big deal about words? Doesn't the Bible even say, "Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."? Notice, it doesn't say we should keep silent, it says we should be slow to speak. There is an assumption that we are going to speak . . . and the writer is reminding us to carefully choose our words.

Still a little further with me here . . . so, if God, being all-knowing and all-seeing, doesn't need to hear me pray aloud in order to answer my prayers, then why the fuss about the audible?

It is this . . . I believe that the utterance of verbs and nouns crafted into sentences and declared before the Father are for our own benefit . . . not for God's. What we hear ourselves say aloud reveals what's really tucked away in our hearts . . . good or bad . . . and that's the ultimate concern of God. That's pretty profound stuff.

What we utter or refuse to utter every single day reveals the true condition of our heart. You see, Jeremiah rightly declares . . . "The heart is deceitfully wicked . . . who can know it?"

Dovetail that with Jesus' own words, "Jesus replied, "You, too? Are you being willfully stupid? Don't you know that anything that is swallowed works its way through the intestines and is finally defecated? But what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. It's from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, and cussing. That's what pollutes."

Just think of the life-changing ramifications of this . . . we need to speak in an audible form in order to discover what is really bouncing around our heart's chambers. If we don't speak forth . . . can we really know what's in there? Reread what the prophet Jeremiah said a few lines above . . . NO, you cannot know it.

So, that said, where is my heart today? Well, my speech has revealed some interesting things about me and my own heart . . . I tend to be way too critical in my speech and am quick to share that with friends. That reveals a serious heart condition that must be addressed. I need to come under the knife.

When I am asked to say something in front of a crowd, even a prayer, I tend to go into an autopilot mode where I share with the audience what I think they want to hear . . . a type of Christianese using the right catch phrases in order to please them. The choice of words in autopilot shows me that I am not trusting God for the words He wants me to say.

Does my being silent when there is a sense of God's prompting to speak tell me anything about myself? It might reveal that in my heart I have a greater fear of man and what they think of me than I do of God and what He thinks of me. God says He who honors me before men, I will honor, and he who dishonors Me before men, I will also dishonor.

Do I find myself strangely tight-lipped before God when it's just me and him . . . content with just thinking warm thoughts in the midst of all my daydreaming . . . hoping He sees those thoughts as prayers? That might reveal, if I am really honest with myself, that I am in essence a stranger when it comes to dwelling in God's presence.

Do I find it rather easy to speak profanity or am I quick to share an off color joke? How often do I find myself saying, "Pardon my French," or qualifying that I might not normally share this . . . but this is really good . . .

How often do we portray a complaining spirit with our words . . . especially when inconvenienced?

What about what I say about others behind their back?

What about the conversations we have with ourselves when no one else is around?

I could go on and on. Folks, I'm learning once again that the issue isn't speech modification . . . it's heart transformation . . . which is more than just bypass surgery or getting a new valve. I don't care how controlled I can be with my tongue . . . if my heart is in a sick condition . . . it will tell on me . . . often involuntarily as I spit and sputter out my vocabulary.

I'll stop my thoughts there . . . time for some scriptural heart surgery . . .

Ephesians 4: "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

Ephesians 5: "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."

James 3: "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

I Peter 3: "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."

Proverbs 25: "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."

And one final verse:

Luke 6: "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

2010-03-12T10:32:00.000-08:00

...continued from my February 12 blog

This past weekend my life was characterized by extreme agitation. Every conversation, every thought, every action was filtered through this reactionary tone in my voice that came from who knows where. My spirit was troubled. So, needless to say, I wasn't my normal delightful self to be around. ;o}

Looking back upon it . . . while trying to avoid analysis that leads to paralysis . . . I discovered it was triggered by something I had seen on TV. Flipping through the channels I came across channel 21, The TBN station. They were hosting their Spring-athon and had invited a platform-full of their favorite TV preachers to move and motivate the crowd. I watched five different preachers speak (I can't tell you their names cause I don't follow them) but I was taken aback by the continuity of their messages. Every single message was tied to MONEY. How to claim it . . . How to receive it . . . How to spend it . . . How to get more of it . . . and the message went on and on. The entire congregation seemed enthralled . . . and would whoop and holler while jumping up and down when each speaker reached his crescendo.

This was repeated again and again.

What was my agitation? My spirit was sorely touched on several levels . . .

First was the twisting and mangling of Scripture to get a certain point across about how every Christian is due their share of loot. That they had rights to it and needed to move to and fro in this life thinking, acting and demanding as such.

On another level was perhaps even more troubling . . . was the deception upon the people. I could not believe it. No one was testing things said in the flesh against the Scripture . . . yet they continued . . . to take simple illustrations out the Bible and build doctrines that come from anywhere but God. The crowd's reaction was reminiscent of the children of Israel building their Golden Calf idol right under the Mountain of the Lord and being carried away to complete ecstasy in the frenzy of the moment . . . not realizing that what they were doing was an abomination to the Lord. And you recall their excuse when God called them on the carpet . . . "Uh, Lord all we did is throw all this jewelry and gold into the fire and this Golden Calf appeared." Wow . . . what deception . . . and to think they could carry that deception to the foot of the throne and offer something as lame as that. And we all know what God's reaction was . . . (if not, go read about it in Exodus).

Now, what does that have to do with my previous blog and why I don't have more enemies?

I've been recalling in my mind again and again a prophetic statement uttered from the lips of Francis Schaeffer back in the '70's . . . that is now seeing its complete fulfillment realized today. The prophecy he declared was this . . . the undoing of Christianity in America will be their desire for . . . belief in . . . and the pursuit of . . . Personal Peace and Affluence [my paraphrase].

Personal Peace meaning . . .

1. I'll do anything to avoid conflict in my life. Self-preserved peace is my ultimate goal that I aspire to. When it comes to expressing my own convictions . . . if I suspect it is going to cause conflict . . . compromise for the sake of peace will be my order of the day. Peace at all costs is pursued when it might appear that truth might be inconvenient (to borrow a phrase from Al Gore).

2. My personal space is my own . . . which has promoted a desire for, and expectation of, isolation from others. We will only let another into our lives when we invite them. They should understand that everything in my life is private and my own until I say it isn't so. Only I have the right to allow you into my life. I have and will maintain my own right to personal privacy.

I just wonder how many reading this have bought into this at some level or another? For me . . . it is downright convicting to even scribble about it. Lord help me.

Affluence meaning . . .

1. The notion that the pursuit of goods and possessions is a worthy and noble cause and should even be expected in this great land in which we live. We should have a home . . . two cars . . . regular vacations . . . investments for our retirement. Our closets should be full. Our garages and trailers should reveal to our neighbors our rightful portion of success.

All these things our culture tells us to go for . . . and if you don't . . . you're somehow something less on society's worthy-meter. Perhaps to even be pitied. The pressure and expectations are just as great upon the followers of Jesus to get their own piece of the pie. I mean, come on now, our own Land tells us . . . we have the right to the pursuit of peace and happiness, don't we? And I am told that what will make me really happy is having all my materialistic ducks in a row . . . the right to more than one pair of shoes . . . the right to collect anything and everything I can or cannot afford . . . right?

Tough stuff for sure . . . but I fear if don't address this while I still have breath . . . eternal damage will be done for sure. God's not going to accept the excuse . . . "Lord, but that's what my Country told me I should do with my life. I had no idea You wanted something different from me." I, for one, don't want to be like the crowd at the foot of the Mountain of the Lord declaring naively . . . but we just threw this stuff into the fire and look what popped out.

You know, as I wrote this, something has come to mind that might actually be life-altering . . . Personal Peace and Affluence are all about my rights . . . BUT . . . as a follower of Jesus Christ . . . I have no rights. Every single thing about me now belongs to Him. Did you hear that? As a follower/disciple/Christian or whatever you want to call it . . . if we are His . . . we have no personal rights.

Listen to Jesus' own words in Luke 14

One day when large groups of people were walking along with him, Jesus turned and told them, "Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one's own self!—can't be my disciple. Anyone who won't shoulder his own cross and follow behind me can't be my disciple."

He continues . . . "Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple . . . Are you listening to this? Really listening?"

Is there enough evidence to convict me?

2010-03-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

Good Day,

Onto my second lesson learned from this adventure within our judicial system.

Hebrews says: "And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment, so also Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people.

Lesson #2: Just as there are legal processes in place within each society that will lead . . . eventually . . . to a finding of guilty or not guilty for crimes committed . . . and thus a sentencing if convicted . . . God also has in place . . . a set of evidentiary proceedings that will ultimately lead everyone who has ever been born . . . to a place of reckoning. Every one of us regardless of our circumstances and lot in life will stand before our Creator at the last and final day, and give an account for how we lived.

BUT . . . and it's a quite BIG BUT . . . there is one very critical and crucial difference between God's system of justice and ours . . . and if we don't get it right while we are living and breathing . . . well . . . there's no going back . . . there will be no opportunity to declare, "I didn't know it was going to be like this." It will be too late.

You see, unlike our judicial system which is set up with processes such as the declaration of personal inalienable rights . . . a right to a speedy trial . . . one's innocence until proven guilty . . . a right to face your accuser . . . the opportunity to plead your case . . . the right to representation . . . the right to an appeal . . .

God's final day will be just that . . . the final day.

Sadly, there are many good-intentioned folks walking out their allotted time on this planet who think that, if and when they ever have to face God, that He is going to give them a chance to plead their case and that, with a lot of convincing talk of good works and wonderful intentions, they will, in return, receive a favorable verdict.

As good as that sounds in their ears and plays out in their minds . . . that could not be further from the truth found in the Bible. I am afraid for those many who fail to understand that once they find themselves standing before God . . . all the evidence will have already been collected . . . and the verdict will have already been reached . . . they are there for sentencing . . . for God's final declaration of guilty or not guilty with no appellate court available.

It is quite clear in Scripture as the writers describe from God's own words, what exactly will happen on the last day of this earth as we know it, but not everyone wants to hear about it . . . as if somehow . . . should we avoid talking or thinking about it . . . it will magically go away on its own . . . or somehow convince ourselves that what God so clearly predicted surely couldn't actually take place. To reject this notion that God will actually do what He has always said He will do (remember His unblemished record of following through with every single prophecy and prediction throughout history) . . . might seem somewhat silly if it weren't that our very eternal destiny will be realized that day . . . EVERYONE . . . no exceptions.

For many . . . the Final Day will be an absolutely glorious day . . . it will be way beyond anything they could have imagined . . . while most everyone else will be tragically and utterly in despair . . . even those who think they don't deserve it. Listen to what Jesus said in Matthew 7: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Do you see what I see here? In the midst of this extremely sad but real description . . . there is a kernel of hope . . . a hope for everyone still alive and breathing . . . a truth that will remain in tact until that Final Day. Jesus says that only those who "Do the will of my Father who is in heaven," will enter the kingdom of heaven. There you have it! There is something we can do here and now which can secure our eternal destination . . . we can do the will of the Father.

We should be asking ourselves about now . . . is there anywhere in the Bible where it's clearly stated what the Father's will is so that I can make sure I'm doing it?

I can't put it any plainer that this . . . the Father's will is that we, inhabitants of His creation, believe in the work He has done. Listen to Jesus' own words in John 6 . . .

Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."

That Final Day will hinge on what we truly believed about Jesus Christ while populating this planet. Now, before we think we understand what the word believe means here . . . we dare not forget that sad text mentioned above referring the scads of people on the Last Day who said, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

The word or idea to believe in Jesus Christ is a very, very important word that should be prayed through, meditated upon and saturated to the core of our entire being. That said, I love what one man said about the Bible . . . its truth is shallow enough for babes to wade in without the fear of drowning and deep enough for adults to swim in without ever touching the bottom. What a great picture!

So, the real understanding of the word believe is not out of our reach. The Apostle Paul laid it quite nicely for anyone considering the cost of following Jesus and what it will take to guarantee that on that Final Day they will be counted in the fold of God's household.

I'll finish with these simple but profound words from Romans 10:

"But what does it say? "THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART"--that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."

This sounded more like a sermon today . . . didn't it? Oh well, this is my heart right now. May God truly bless you as you do the work of God . . . TO BELIEVE ON THE ONE WHOM HE HAS SENT!

2010-03-01T09:41:00.000-08:00

...continued from my February 26 blog...

Several have responded to my blogs with words of encouragement and inquiry. Thank you. It is very encouraging to get feedback once in a while.

One last thought about the Renewing of the Mind . . . How does one know that their mind is really and truly being renewed? Are there any litmus tests that can indicate I'm on the right path or not? Personally, I would say there are at least three very simple indicators that will offer immediate feedback on whether the mind is in the process of being renewed. Mind you, the key word here is process . . . this renewing of the mind is something that will only end when you close your eyes for the last time on this earth.

Litmus Test 1: What occupies my sub-conscious? In other words, what do I daydream about involuntarily? A mind on the path toward being renewed will reveal its true self most clearly when it's in a relaxed state and not actively pursuing something. In those moments of down time, (we all have them) what do I think about? Do I replay things in my mind that honor God or honor myself? What actually runs through my mind? Are these thoughts really captive to Christ? This simple test will show me often more than I want to admit, but nevertheless, if I am at all serious about my following Jesus Christ, I will have to address them head on.

Litmus Test 2: How do I naturally process events that happen in and around my life? How do I react mentally to the things that come across my path daily? Am I mentally on edge? What do I immediately think when something happens unexpectedly? Do I automatically believe the best in a situation? Am I reactionary when bad things happen to me? How do I mentally place myself in the circumstances? Am I always the winner in my mind? Who am I looking out for when I experience the unexpected?

Litmus Test 3: What is my choice of meditation? Let's face it . . . we all make choices to dwell upon things mentally. What is it that I will choose to think about? The Bible mentions over and over again the importance of meditating upon the Word of God. The word meditate is most closely compared to when a cow chews its cud. It chews it, mulls it around in its mouth, swallows it, and then regurgitates it for another round. It does this again and again. As a result the grass is broken down into its most elemental state. This is the same picture of what meditation is to be . . . a chewing of a thought (in this situation a verse or thought from God) . . . mulling it around . . . swallowing it . . . bringing it up again for another chew . . . breaking it down so it can permeate the entire mind. If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we will meditate upon something today. I know I will. So, today, upon what will be my meditation? My next vacation? My next purchase? My next paycheck? My next family gathering? My next relationship? The next time I see my kids? my grand kids? You and I can choose what we will meditate upon.

The Renewing of the Mind is not a little thing in the life of a follower of Jesus Christ. In a culture that is built upon amusement which in it's most basic definition means to 'not think' ('muse' meaning to think and 'a' in front of the word being a negative meaning no or zero) it is critical that we not fall prey to allowing someone or something else to do our thinking for us. With amusement it is someone else doing the thinking for you in the form of entertainment. A danger is that I can take on sub-consciously the philosophy and values of those who create the amusement for me. Remember, Satan is no novice when it comes to tricking and deceiving us. I'm sure he's quite comfortable using anything in his arsenal, capitalizing and utilizing those things that bring us pleasure and comfort. His tactic here in America seems to be not to scare us silly, but instead, he seems bent on lulling us into a deep unresponsive sleep, lulling us into spiritual inactivity, lulling us to faith indifference, lulling us to a lack luster half-hearted pursuit of God, lulling us into a slothful desire to pursue holiness.

This is a battle I am in. It's a battle for my mind, my thoughts and my dreams . . . because how I think can and often determine how I will act. If I am the constant winner in my thought-life when I replay events, that, I believe, will show itself in my tenacious self-preservation and resolve to promote the number one person in my life . . . me . . . and that's not good.

I'll stop there and just offer a few Scriptures for consideration. While I can perhaps talk or write convincingly, it is only the Word of God living and breathing that has any real worth and value in changing lives. I'll let God's Word speak for itself.

II Corinthians 10:5: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Joshua 1:8 "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."

II Timothy 3:16-17 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

II Peter 3 "I have written them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles. "

I Corinthians 14 "Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults."

And from the Psalms:

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love.

I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.

Though rulers sit together and slander me, your servant will meditate on your decrees.

Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders.

I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, and I meditate on your decrees.

May you be encouraged today as you 'think' upon these things.

2010-02-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

...continued from February 25...

Before I move on to my next lesson learned, I wanted to bring up another piece of property that God showed me this morning while praying. This is so cool . . . I've followed Jesus Christ since 1974 and He is still showing me things 36 years later that are just as refreshing and exciting in my life as they were then. I'll also share some other thoughts on this analogy of God's posting 'No Trespassing' signs on areas of my life.

During my prayer time I saw myself actually walking along a fence line and came across another No Trespassing sign. This piece of property was beautiful to behold and quite inviting. I asked God what it was called and he told me it was my 'Memory Meadow'. I found myself simultaneously crossing over the fence without giving it a second thought as I carried on my conversation with God. This mindless act gave every indication that this apparently was a regular occurrence in my life as I seemed so comfortable and familiar doing it. It was like I was on auto pilot.

The memories were all there . . . and even better than I recalled . . . ecstasies . . . achievements . . . relationships . . . the good ol' days . . . victories . . . the way things 'used to be' . . . happier days . . . pleasures captured in time . . . money in my pocket and no bills . . . fun times without a care in the world . . . things done in the dark . . . all so easily replayed again and again in the secret compartments of my mind. There were other memories there as well . . . regrets . . . failures . . . hurt . . . lost relationships . . . injustices . . . wrongs done to me . . . which I noticed was giving me a healthy taste for destructive vengeance the longer I dwelled upon them.

Then God asked me, "Do you really want to stay there?" It then hit me as I looked around . . . this Memory Meadow had signs posted quite clearly on the property boundary . . . 'No Trespassing' . . . and the words 'Keep Out' had also been added to the sign. I climbed back over the fence, confessed to the Lord that I didn't realize what I was doing . . . that it was just out of a regular, thoughtless habit that I now needed to yield to Him . . . and I asked him for help by alerting me and for Divine intervention when I passed by this area.

This is a pretty good mental picture, I think, of the Romans 12 passage I referred to yesterday about the constant never ending Renewing of the Mind. This renewing of the mind is an active non-stop pursuit of God . . . that when non-Godlike areas arise in my thought life and I begin to allow them to saturate my mind, I am alerted to it and I quickly ask Him to reshape, reconfigure, change, modify, or do whatever necessary to give me a new way of thinking . . . a request for a sensitivity and knowledge of what's happening when these things come across my mind's picture window and the tools necessary to deal with them.

Now with regards to the renewing of the mind . . . there are a couple of tools God has given me that I already have in hand. I need to be familiar with them. I don't want to be like the guy who has the coolest guitar rig but only stares at it. He visits all the music stores, buys the t-shirts, walks around the pedal department, gets the latest Guitar Player magazine, loves to talk about it, but never sits down to actually practice. So, when he's called upon to play a song, he's unfamiliar with his instrument. He sadly discovers he can't play. He's what some would call a 'Poser'. Having all the appearances of being a guitar player but can't tell the difference between a D and a D7 chord.

Tool #1 is the promise of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus' own words declared in John 16 . . . "When he [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment:"

One of the primary purposes of the Holy Spirit is to show/reveal/uncover our error in what we think about sin, holiness, and consequences for our actions. To put it another way . . . the Holy Spirit helps correct our thinking . . . our understanding . . . and our reality. When a person receives the Spirit of God, something happens . . . they, as the Apostle Paul says in Corinthians, become a NEW CREATION. The old has gone and the new has arrived. The cool thing about that truth is that we get something completely new in our lives. A new heart. Our heart of stone is replaced with a heart of flesh. We become something we have never been before. Along with that comes a new way of thinking and a new found ability to say 'YES' to God and 'no' to sin.

I wish once all this happened in my own life . . . that ALL things were erased and 'do overs' were initiated. But in God's great plan that's just not the case. We still have memories, we still have consequences for what we have done. No, instead, what God does for us is He gives us the ability to live with a totally new approach to life. He's given us the ability to see things differently. To see things through the filter of Truth.

Note this tool is a yielding of yourself to God . . . the Holy Spirit enveloping your entire being and renewing your inner man.

Tool # 2 is the Word of God.

Unfortunately I have noticed over the last two decades at least a certain 'barrenness' of the Word of God in the lives of those who profess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. There's an unfamiliarity with Truth as God proclaimed it in the Bible. And it seems in some places to have been replaced with a preference for all things 'Spirit' based . . . as if you could separate the two. This preference for one or the other (the Spirit or the Word) is rather disturbing to witness.

If I read the words of Jesus Christ correctly, you cannot receive revelation from the Holy Spirit without the Word of God as your plumb line to test thoughts, actions and words, and you cannot understand the original intent of the Word of God without the Holy Spirit's guidance and confirmation. They MUST go together. I can't be who I am supposed to be in Jesus Christ while choosing to neglect either the Word or the Spirit. Neglect could also be defined here as an over emphasis or focus on one at the expense of the other.

Why do I go here? It is because the Bible that sits on your table, in your library, or under the seat of your car, is a huge, often untapped reservoir of wisdom and knowledge for living out this life as God would have us live it. It is Truth to be read regularly and followed passionately.

Getting back to the reference to the Bible being a tool for us . . . let me give you just one example of how it can be used for guidance with respect to the renewing of your mind . . .

It says in Philippians 4: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Just imagine what it would be like to live like this. I know in my life, if I were to change the way I think, things would be just a tad different (both for me and for those around me).

I want to encourage you today to allow every one of your thoughts to be taken captive by Jesus Christ. Stay on the narrow path. Know where God's 'No Trespassing' signs are posted in your life. Keep in step with the Spirit. Let His Word dwell richly within you.

For me, this morning I petitioned God to keep these memories that serve absolutely nothing to enhance or strengthen my following after Jesus Christ today, in their perspective place . . . Memory Meadow . . . I want to follow hard after Jesus.

May you 'think' a little differently today.

2010-02-25T10:16:00.000-08:00

...continued from the February 1 blog...

Well, my initial court date has now come and gone. It didn't turn out as I envisioned . . . but then again . . . I really didn't know what to expect since I've never been a criminal before :o] at least in the Government's eyes.

I actually got a pretty good night's sleep and felt bolstered by the thoughts and prayers of many friends. When I arrived at the courthouse I passed through the metal detector . . . got in line . . . received my paperwork . . . was then directed to the courtroom . . . along with dozens of others.

As the judge entered the courtroom he immediately appeared rushed. He was polite . . . but bent on getting his job done. Then the 'cattle call' began. I had brought along with me a detailed photo layout (five photos in all) with flight path and areas circled . . . all things needed to describe and convince anyone willing to listen with an open mind how I had unknowingly ventured onto land marked No Trespassing.

When my name was finally called, I had my 'polite' request to share my circumstances mentally laid out . . . only to have the judge immediately ask . . . "How to you plead?"

I responded, "No Contest," then continued, "Your honor, I was wondering it I might have a minute of your time to explain . . ." He cut me off. He responded, "Your pretrial date will be March 30. At that time you can see if you can work out a deal with the County Attorney. Fill out this form and see her (pointing to the clerk sitting next to him) for your appearance information."

Well, this is not what I had expected, but nevertheless . . . I was done with my first step toward obtaining a criminal record. The clerk told me I have to be in the courthouse at 8:15 AM on March 30 and that I needed to plan being there all morning. I left and went to breakfast with my friend, Bob, who had volunteered to sit with me for moral support. I was glad he was there.

Now . . . what is God teaching me through this ordeal? First, I don't think the lessons are ending any time soon, so I will continue to keep my spiritual receptors tuned to the Spirit. That said, there are a couple of things that come to mind . . . this blog will address one of them . . . then a subsequent blog will address another.

Lesson 1. Just as this particular piece of land is posted property where people are warned and prohibited from entering, there are areas in my own life that God has also posted "No Trespassing". And there's a reason for that . . . you see, I have to believe, with God setting the boundaries, that His property signs are there for my own good and well being.

What am I talking about? Some of those property boundaries that come to mind . . . how about the tempting land of pornography on the Internet (or anywhere else) luring me to venture in stealthily, for just a brief (or extended) look . . . or the land of the never ending buffet inviting me to indulge until I cannot muster another bite . . . or the land of bitterness where grudges and unforgiveness become easily seen landmarks on my life's horizon . . . or the plateau of pride and self made achievements which allows me a place to stand tall and superior, looking down on others I feel are less accomplished . . . or the dazzling piece of property I'll call, Enchanted Materialism, a place where I need not deny myself anything that looks or feels good, or that would make my life easier, more fun and personally gratifying.

Those are just a few life markers of which I must be aware. If I am not careful and ever watchful of what I do and where I go, I can find myself approaching a forbidden fence, pause to have a look which can then so easily turn into a wishful gaze over that which God says isn't good for me. At that point, if I allow myself to stay at the fence line, it's only takes one small mental moment where I can convince myself that it's okay to cross just this once.

But there's another diabolical twist to this . . . just like my situation . . . where I unknowingly ventured onto property that had some of the No Trespassing signs torn down . . . the Evil One does everything he can within his own power to remove the warning signs God has placed in my life. His goal is to blur my vision of distinguishing good from evil . . . then invite me to come over the fence for a personal tour of the property (he'll even spread the barbwire so I can climb through) . . . then offer a sales pitch to convince me that it isn't really that bad and that I can leave any time I wish . . . and the final act . . . the Evil One will invite me to invest in the property . . . to become one of the landowners who can regularly visit. He will gladly provide me with a key to the gate.

Now, just because I can identify these things, doesn't mean I always have the victory. I can recall countless times in my own life where I've willfully climbed through the fence . . . enjoyed it . . . even considered investing . . . and then snuck back over the fence . . . only to have my Heavenly Father call for me and ask me where I've been.

So, I confess I am a trespasser. God knows it. I can't hide it from Him. There are times when I am duped into the property unsuspecting (nevertheless I am still guilty) and other times I fully know what I am doing and I deliberately make the choice to step over.

I confess that it's sometimes hard to determine where the posted signs are. How do I go about identifying my own property boundaries . . . areas where God has posted and asked that I not tread upon? Thank the Lord that I am not left to my own devices to try and figure this out. There is help and that help is found in His Word.

Look at Hebrews 4 (in particular the words in red)

"For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil."

God expects that if I follow him that I will mature in my faith. Simply put . . . I do that through PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. The result of good practice is an ability to discern good and evil. Mind you, I've learned from my life in baseball as a coach that there is 'good' practice and there is 'bad' practice. A player who is improperly taught can develop bad habits, habits that will harm his play in the game. A philosophy I've tired to adhere to is Never teach someone something that they will have to unlearn some time later in life. Our God is a great coach. He runs a great practice. But His practices have a goal . . . He expects us to be able to play the game skillfully . . . in this instance . . . as it should be played . . . in the game of life.

The second verse is found in Romans 12 (notice the words again in red)

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

I don't say goodbye to my mind when I choose to follow Jesus Christ. No, on the contrary, once I believed in my heart and confessed with my mouth, I began the lifelong process of cognizant transformation which comes about by the regular, constant, never ending pursuit of the renewing of my mind. My life becomes a 3 steps and forward and 2 steps back experience . . . but always advancing. This is something I must not only submit to . . . a yielding of my life . . . but it is something I also must actively pursue with my mind as I continue to walk this narrow road.

What will it take for me to finally grasp that the issue is not really about trespassing . . . no, it's about 'life ownership'. Who owns me? When will I put into practice what I so willingly confess . . . that this life of mine is not my own. It belongs to you, Lord. Do with it what you will.

Lesson 2 will be along in a bit.

2010-02-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

Starting with the New Year, I've been reading through the Gospels of Matthew, John and now I am in Mark. I'm once again fascinated with the stories and details of Jesus' personal life. Not satisfied with just the wordsmithing of the Bible, each time I read through familiar territory I ask God to show me something a little different, whether it be from a different angle or approach, or from the thoughts of those other than Christ in the story, etc.

This time I must confess I got really bugged about something that seemed to happen again and again. I noticed a developing pattern, something I hadn't really explored before. Once I recognized it, it seemed to jump off of every single page. What bugged me was this . . .

Everywhere Jesus traveled, someone . . . or some group . . . was constantly dogging him, watching his every move. Now I'm not referring to the 'big' events of his life . . . you would expect it during those times. No, what kept me on edge is that no matter where he went or what he did, no matter how small and insignificant, someone was ALWAYS there ready to accuse him or point out something, even in the minute details of everyday life . . . . like taking in a meal, or walking down a road. Everywhere you turned, there was a skeptic . . . a critic . . . someone crouched, ready to pounce and inject a degrading comment or a challenge. They would not leave him alone. And this really irritated me.

You may recall stories from the Bible... like when Jesus traveled through a field of grain . . . his disciples snatched some of the grain to eat it . . . and someone was watching . . . ready to indict him for breaking the Sabbath. He's invited as a guest to a dinner party . . . someone was dogging him . . . criticizing him for associating with sinners . . . he sits down with children . . . someone was dogging him . . . he tries to get off alone . . . someone was dogging him. They didn't let up until finally . . . they murdered him . . . but they didn't stop there . . . they then dogged Peter . . . they then dogged Paul. It seemed that those who truly sacrificed all to follow Jesus were hounded just like he was. Skeptics and critics watched their every move, ready to discredit the first chance they got.

So what am I to make of this 'new' insight into the Word? If I am honest, I have to ask myself . . . Am I being dogged for my being a follower of Jesus Christ? And if I am not, why? Why are there no critics in my life? Why aren't there skeptics watching my every move, prompting me to defend the faith? Mind you, I would not imagine that this is something someone should joyfully aspire to . . . but it has caused me to question . . . why don't I naturally have more opposition in my life as a disciple of Jesus? Did not Jesus clearly state that "In this world you will have tribulation?" and "Blessed are those who are persecuted for my sake." and "If they hated me, they will hate you." and "I have come to cause division in your family." [my paraphrase]

Again, if I am honest with myself . . . there are several plausible reasons why I have no real opposition for the stand I am taking for Christ.

1. The enemy of my soul sees me as no real threat to my surroundings and therefore would just as soon I keep preoccupied with my current status in life.

2. I've taken up residence and am housed within a facade-like bubble called the culture of Christianity and it's really comfortable in here.

3. I am being Divinely protected from my enemy's words and accusations. This would be a tough one to understand along with the Bible's teaching that the Evil One stands before God all day long accusing would-be followers of His Son.

4. I will do anything . . . and go to any length . . . to avoid conflict in my life. When it comes down to it, pleasing others is pretty durn important in my life.

Which leads me to my next God thought . . . to be posted soon.

"Honestly, Officer...I never saw the sign."

2010-02-01T09:56:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days since my last post. I must be honest here...I had a tough time trying to put into words what I endured this past week...thus the delay. Bottom line...I received a citation for criminal trespassing which is a class 3 misdemeanor. I'm blown away and in some ways even speechless. I've never been cited for anything criminal in my life...much less for taking pictures. Yep, you heard right...for taking pictures.

The American Bald Eagle shots I sent you last week might turn out to be some of the most expensive photos I've ever taken. Here's what happened...

One of my photography students from a recent class sent me an e-mail letting me know that there was a pair of bald eagles nesting in the Mesa metro area. Needless to say, I was both surprised and excited. I ventured out to the location and immediately caught sight of one of the eagles perched in the tree near the road. Keeping a close eye on him (should he fly) I pulled my 4Runner around the corner and off the road (it's a high profile 4wd vehicle - you'll see why I include that in a moment) and quietly got out of the car, propped my elbows on the hood of the car and began taking shots.

I then ever-so-quietly moved to the back of my car and got out my tripod, returned to the front of the car and continued taking shots. A minute or so later, the eagle flew back behind a tree and then seemed to bank north (the direction my SUV was pointing). I walked up the road, paralleling the flight to see if I could see where he landed. About 150' up the road I saw him perched in the tree where the nest was. Not wanting to disturb or stress the bird I walked out into the field about 50' and planted myself in a shady spot under a tree nearby. I did this in order to prevent lens flare and to allow myself to be somewhat concealed from the birds as I did not want to disturb them. The second bird flew over and landed in the tree as well. I got some decent flight shots and then just stood there in awe, admiring these majestic creatures.

Moments later I heard a man from behind me say, "Sir. Sir. Please step over this way." To my surprise there was a Salt River Indian Reservation Ranger with his lights on parked behind my 4Runner. He was now standing next to my SUV. I politely complied, walked over and asked how he was doing. His first words were, "Sir, did you know you were on land marked 'No Trespassing'? I looked at him in disbelief and replied, "No, I didn't." I continued, "I was taking pictures of the eagles" (at a safe distance mind you).

He then directed me to my car and pointed to a sign right next to it. There in large print it read, No Trespassing. My SUV's height was higher than the sign itself so when I first pulled up keeping an eye on the eagle sitting in the tree, I didn't see it...from inside my 4Runner nor from its hood.

He asked to see my driver's license, then my registration and proof of insurance. He continued, "I'll be just a moment and we can get you back on the road." Five minutes later he returned and explained he was citing me for criminal trespass. I tried to reason with him, telling him I never saw the signs...that I entered the property up 150' from my car (which I discovered later that there was a signless post sticking up out of ground where someone apparently had torn down the sign at my point of entry on the property). He wouldn't hear any of it. He was very polite but said that this is what he was going to do. He wrote it for Mesa Municipal Court rather than for the Reservation Court (I didn't know they had a choice).

He then explained that my court date was February 24 and that if I didn't appear in court that day, a warrant would be issued for my arrest. I was able to quickly share the abbreviated version of the Gospel and that missing that date would never even cross my mind (that my faith in God and my relationship with him would not permit me to do such a thing). He informed me that I was free to go over to the court anytime and find out what my options would be. I told him I was going to go right now. I drove away in disbelief.

I arrived at the court building, handed the citation over to the clerk and asked what my options were. She glanced at it and handed it back to me and said, "Sir, we can't do anything about this. This is a criminal citation. You must appear before the judge on this date." I left thoroughly bummed.

The max sentence for a class 3 misdemeanor is a $500 fine and 30 days in jail.

I'll write my 'spiritual lessons learned' tomorrow or the next day, but until then, several things come to mind...

1. This might give you all the opportunity to put into practice Matthew 25 where Jesus said,

Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'
"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'

2. Do I know any attorneys who are into pro bono work or accept payment in the form of a framed print? ;o)

3. Do I need to try to sell A LOT of my eagle photos to pay for my fine?

4. Should I provide the judge with a really nice 20x30 framed photo of an American Bald Eagle?

5. Should I set up a PayPal account where people could donate to my plight.

6. Finally, should I plead guilty or not guilty? The answer will be revealed in my next blog entry.

I would really appreciate your prayers about this matter.

2010-01-23T14:34:00.001-08:00

I discovered something totally amazing this week. It's given a whole new meaning to, "I can't believe my eyes!".

I regularly venture out to our local Riparian near my home to take photos of whatever I can locate. It houses seven ponds on 150 acres of trails and is one of the best kept secrets here in the East Valley of Phoenix. There you will find waterfowl, shore birds, wading birds, raptors, and song birds galore. For some reason (grin) it's also a great hangout for feral cats (which is another lesson altogether)

Anyway, as I was watching a Shrike (still trying to figure out if it was a Loggerhead or a Northern), I noticed several other smaller Flycatchers around it. They would launch and flutter around frantically in the air and then just a quickly return to their perch. This happened over and over. The Black Phoebe and the Say's Phoebe seemed the most active. I knew they were catching insects, but I couldn't see any. All I saw was blue sky...UNTIL I viewed the Shrike with my binoculars...OH MY! The sky around him was transformed...it was now teeming with hundreds of thousands...if not millions of tiny insects. I stared in disbelief and kept pulling my binocs from my eyes...all I would see was blue sky...and then pulling them back...the sky was filled with swarming black clouds. Seriously it was one of the most amazing sites I've ever come across...and one of the best illustrations of what life is like for us today.

You see, I believe one of the greatest and most tragic mistakes people can make today, both in and out of the church, is to confess that because they can't see it with their own eyes, they can't imagine that there would be another very real 'spirit' world coexisting and cohabiting our planet along with us. Our media has taken it upon themselves, as self-appointed modern day prophets, to announce to all that it is unheard of, and unthinkable, even anti cultural for anyone to confess that they believe in actual spirits, both good and bad. Sadly, but understandably, those who do believe there is an active 'unseen' world around us are considered 'fringe' people. Think with me for a moment...how many of you would be self-conscious if you entered a discussion about the spirit world? How many would be think twice about confessing that you believe in angels and demons? or a real Satan?

Personally, yes, this is my opinion, this has been one of the greatest feats accomplished by the Devil...to get a society to purport openly that there really is no enemy of our souls...and to get a population to reject the notion that there is some foul evil spirit out there that would love nothing more than to bring harm and utter destruction to us personally if he could. Come on now...educated and reasonable people don't really believe in that type of superstitious nonsense...do they? Besides, God only wants good for me...right? He only wants to give me what I want...right? God loves me...doesn't He? That's all I really need to know...isn't it? I need to be encouraged...not discouraged. I need to be happy...not sad. I need to feel protected...not attacked. I need to feel loved...not rejected. I need to hear messages that lift me up...not bring me down.

Me thinks we have been royally duped and we are right where the Evil One wants us...confused...confused about how our spiritual lives are supposed to work...what we are supposed to strive for...and what we are supposed to avoid. Confused about good and evil to the extent that what the Bible predicted would happen...has...many now call good evil and evil good. Confusion on every street corner. Therefore, we conclude, because I don't really know how I am supposed to think about it, I can't fault you for believing the way you do. Besides, I think God will work everything out anyway...I just need to focus on being a good person and He will be my backup. He can't overlook that can he? My intentions are good.

Not only are we now confused, but we find ourselves often refusing to realize this truth...WE DO HAVE AN ENEMY. This enemy wants to destroy us. He wants us to fail in every area of our lives. This enemy will stop at nothing. He wants

...those who are busy to get busier
...those who hate to get nastier
...those who are fat to get fatter
...those who are maxed out on their finances to find ways to borrow more
...those in estranged relationships to drive a wedge deeper and wider
...those who have lots of toys to buy more stuff
...those who are lazy to get lazier
...those who have power to do whatever it takes to get more power
...those who have no time for God to become even more preoccupied with the things of this world
...those who are powerless to feel like they never will amount to anything
...those who are neglected to feel like they're all alone
...those who procrastinate to continue putting things off
...those who have no self-control to live out of control
...those who think they will find God at the latest teaching/worship conference to continue running from here to there, always seeking but never finding

Listen to what God says in II Corinthians 4:4 - "The god of this age [the Devil/Satan] has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."

That's what's happened. Spiritual blindness has been applied. I think he's also done a pretty good job with unsuspecting and untrained believers as well.

Very few are privy to seeing things as they really are. Strangers to Creator God, we walk around with blinders that have been ever so delicately applied to our eyes and minds...and as a result, we have no problem declaring emphatically that the 'sky is blue' and concluding that there is nothing else there. Now, if I had just stood there on the trail in the Riparian and refused to believe what my binoculars permitted me to see, or even if I had no binoculars and shouted to everyone who passed by, "The sky is blue and that's all there is," would that change the fact that the sky was actually teeming with millions of insects? What if I chose to declare the sky is blue, and state that there is nothing there because I can't see it, and what if I recruited a large crowd and somehow convinced them that there is nothing there because we cannot see it and what if we gathered in a circle and chanted together in a very loud voice, "There is nothing there...There is nothing there...There is nothing there...We don't see it...We don't see it...We don't see it." Would our insistent declarations change or alter the fact that there was something there? No. Our opinion of something doesn't alter reality...no matter how strongly we believe it to be or not to be. Note that ignoring it isn't an option here either. This isn't something you can just pull your blanket over your head and everything will go away.

No, we have an enemy...and that is reality...whether we see him or not...whether we believe he exists or not. I love what Michael Omartian penned in the 70's song, Alive and Living in LA. He writes, speaking of the Devil, "You may think I wear a red suit, that's fine. But the truth is that I will wear whatever suits me at the time."

Listen to what the Apostle Paul says, "For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve."

God has a challenge for us...He asks us to trust Him, to trust His Son Jesus, to trust His Word...His Word that says in Ephesians 6:12 - "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

God says that there is a very real battle going on...one that you don't necessarily see with your eyes, but nevertheless, it involves events and elements of the unseen world which includes spirit beings. And that He's here to help...to help us become more than conquerors...to give us a future and a hope apart from the evil and destructive intentions of the Devil. God doesn't want you to fail. In fact, He has your best interests in mind.

But the enemy of your soul would have you believe that this world is all there is to life and so you need to give it your very best shot because after this...well, that's a big question mark.

For me, I choose to agree with the words of the Apostle Paul, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

My experience with my binoculars on a nature trail in Arizona only confirmed once again where my real battles lie...not against others...not my wife, my boss, my kids, my President, my pastor, my neighbor...no, it's against the Devil and his demons who are bent on seeing this world and all its inhabitants destroyed. With God's grace, I won't ignore that anymore, but instead, boldly declare that the battle belongs to the Lord. May I be found to be a good soldier...and not one who only protests the war. The war is there, it is real and we can't make it go away by declaring it otherwise...only God will decide when enough is enough. Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly.

2010-01-23T14:32:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I never seem satisfied?

Especially with regards to things in the church? Whether it be Charismatic, Pentecostal, Liturgical, High Church, Reformed, Evangelistic, Fundamentalist, Non-denominational, Main Stream, Bible Church or whatever...I find it quite easy to allow my mind to wander into the realm of 'Why is it like this?' 'Wouldn't it be better if...' 'If it were me...' Perhaps I dwell upon this too much, but I must confess that it really really bothers me. First that things are the way they are in this culture and second, that I can jump into this arena of 'superior evaluation of others faults' so quickly. I pray daily on my prayer-walk...sometimes I even pray hard, but I have yet to overcome. I also understand that this is connected to, at least in some fashion, a critical spirit from within myself. God help me, PLEASE! (You can pray for me...I'm serious)

You see, it's a no brainer (almost automatic) for me to become judgmental and easily frustrated over those who gripe and complain about the 'minor' issues of what's wrong with church, whether it be the color of the carpet, the parking, the bathrooms, the heat/AC comfort zone, the seating, the style of music, the order of the service, the method of preaching, the length of the service...etc....you fill in the blank...AND when it comes to me personally, I've convinced myself that somehow I've been appointed (self-appointed mind you) as God's critic on the 'major' and more important spiritual issues in the church...I'm into what's wrong with the church's approach to God and to each other and to the world. Yeah...that makes it right (NOT!)

Do you see what's going on here? I'm not only critical of those who try to do what they hear God telling them but I am also critical of those who gripe and complain. Shucks, I guess I don't give anyone a break...except myself. I heard one person put it this way . . . we are quick to judge others by their actions, by what they do . . . but we expect and even insist that others judge us by our motivations and intentions. Me thinks I am a little to easy on myself in this area.

The Apostle Paul says, What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Boy, can I identify with this statement. This stuff really bugs me because it affects my approach to others...and even to God.

Shoot, I see my internal judgments sneak up on me even when the congregation unites and prays and gets really loud, shouting their petitions and praises to God. I find myself thinking, 'Why can't they be quiet and just be content to bow in awe of God. YET, when I'm with a group that is quiet and contemplative, uttering whispers to God, I find myself saying, Why can't they get loud and join in with the throngs praising before the throne. OR when a pastor chooses to quote everyone's thoughts in a message but his own, I think to myself, can't this guy learn anything on his own, doesn't he spend any time at the foot of the throne? Doesn't the Bible say that the Spirit, not the latest best seller, will guide you into all truth? BUT when it's just all Scripture and the pastor drones away with technical jargon that is fit for only those that make their home in ivory towers, I find myself thinking, can't this guy make the Word practical for the common man?

Those are just a couple of examples of how my mind works, when I let my thoughts run unchecked. I'm sure some are thinking, 'Boy, I'm glad this guy's not in my church'. You know, I would probably be thinking the same thing.

That said, I believe that lasting solutions can only be implemented and experienced when one first understands and admits what the problem is. It's like forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't happen until a person confesses and asks for forgiveness, which means that they have some suspicion that what they have done was wrong and in need of a change.

You see, for me, I am discovering that criticism, even legitimate criticism, is useless, harmful, and even deadly, without a willingness to either seek God for a solution or become a part of the solution myself. I can no longer sit back and let my mind's critical spirit sink its poison-saturated talons into the secret places of my heart. If I allow that to happen, I am convinced that I will no longer be able to love as God has instructed me to love...unconditionally.

So where do I go from here? . . . First and foremost, I thank God that His mercies are new every morning. If it weren't for mercy, I wouldn't be writing this today. I'd be out looking for someone to criticize (really!). Secondly, I'm going to do my best to yield this area to God and let Him transform me based upon at least two very important passages in His Word:

II Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Romans 12 - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

God as my witness, this is what I will do. Please pray for me as I do for you.

2010-01-18T11:15:00.000-08:00

As I was reading this morning the Lord showed me something new. I love it when that happens...a fresh wind of understanding blows through...an insight you hadn't noticed before suddenly jumps out at you...an illumination that helps make sense as to why things are the way they are in our world today.

Listen to the account the Jesus' trumped up arrest in Matthew 26:

The words were barely out of his mouth when Judas (the one from the Twelve) showed up, and with him a gang from the high priests and religious leaders brandishing swords and clubs. The betrayer had worked out a sign with them: "The one I kiss, that's the one—seize him." He went straight to Jesus, greeted him, "How are you, Rabbi?" and kissed him.

Jesus said, "Friend, why this charade?"

Then they came on him—grabbed him and roughed him up. One of those with Jesus pulled his sword and, taking a swing at the Chief Priest's servant, cut off his ear.

Jesus said, "Put your sword back where it belongs. All who use swords are destroyed by swords. Don't you realize that I am able right now to call to my Father, and twelve companies—more, if I want them—of fighting angels would be here, battle-ready? But if I did that, how would the Scriptures come true that say this is the way it has to be?

"Then Jesus addressed the mob: "What is this—coming out after me with swords and clubs as if I were a dangerous criminal? Day after day I have been sitting in the Temple teaching, and you never so much as lifted a hand against me. You've done it this way to confirm and fulfill the prophetic writings.

This is a story I have read countless times. I've heard many moving messages lifted from this text over the years. I can recall most of the story from memory. So, what was new?

Here's what God showed me today...my new perspective: While we can ask and believe God to do anything and everything through positive declaration and concerted prayer, He will NOT do something for us that negates or changes the intent of what is to happen prophetically as described in the Bible.

Jesus clearly points out in this text that although he could call down legions of angels to do battle on his behalf, there was a 'higher' purpose in his life...Jesus says, "But if I did that, how would the Scriptures come true that say this is the way it has to be?"

Within our Christian populace, I am afraid we have succumbed to asking things of God without regard for Jesus' words, THIS IS THE WAY IT HAS TO BE. There is a seemingly forgotten standard that does supersede our personal felt needs and wants whether we want to recognize it or not. It's a standard that even Creator God Himself still honors...the standard is this...God's Words in the Bible must come to pass as predicted... The prophetic teachings in the Bible will be fulfilled...and that, my friend, according to Jesus, takes priority over our own personal requests no matter how insistent we might be.

Isn't it interesting...if God had really given us the ability to name it, claim it and receive it for anything that suits our fancy as his children, as is taught in many circles, that we would have much more visible evidence shown of those things we declared we should possess? Mind you, some will surmise that the person asking just doesn't have enough faith and thus, he won't receive. Mind you, faith is critical and absolutely necessary, but I suspect this is not the primary reason we hear these types of prayers, and yet continue to see the requests go unfulfilled. Many of those I hear pray have faith...lots of faith.

No, I don't think faith is always the issue when we don't get what we ask for. Rather, I would submit that the reason most requests go unfilled is based on one of two (or both) even more fundamental reasons:

1. We ask not according to His will, but we ask according to our felt needs, wants and desires. Notice when Jesus prays, he says, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" When I hear pleas and petitions, now that I think about it...rarely have I heard...God, what do you want? In those moments of desperation for God to get involved and act...do we?...do I? even think to ask him, 'What do you want in this situation?' And, if we do ask, do we really wait and listen? And will we accept his answer as Jesus did?

2. Our requests go against what Scripture has prophesied must happen in the end times and thus God will not act in opposition to what His Word says. Notice Jesus says again, "You've done it this way (arrested me in this case) to confirm and fulfill the prophetic writings." It seems in this day and age we have unsuspectingly exchanged the prophetic message of Scripture, and have instead, opted to focus on what we think the people need right now.

What's my point? It is this...what I hear in many requests coined as a prayer to God today just doesn't jive with what Jesus says will happen to those who choose to follow him. What they are demanding of God seems juxtaposed to God's predictions in the Bible of what followers of Jesus can expect. Here are just a couple of prophetic utterances the Bible declares:

Mark 13: It's going to be brother killing brother, father killing child, children killing parents. There's no telling who will hate you because of me. "Stay with it—that's what is required. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry; you'll be saved.

John 15: If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world's terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God's terms and no longer on the world's terms, the world is going to hate you.

Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.

The Apostle Paul says: Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I've warned you of them many times; sadly, I'm having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.

That is just a smattering of what the Bible says about the cost of following Jesus. Now I'm the first one to admit, just like those in John 6, 'These are difficult sayings, who can handle this?' And that's the beauty of God's involvement with us. While there are predictions of tough times ahead, yes, even death, praise be to God, that is not the end of the story. There is the sure word of a new heaven and a new earth to be had for those who persevere to the end. For me, I guess I'm not willing to buy into demanding that the things promised for those future times be dropped in my lap right now and let's just skip the hard stuff.

Tough words...for sure. Lots to think about. Jesus Christ always challenged would be disciples to count the cost before taking up a life of following in his footsteps. Be encouraged from the words of old Habakkuk. Take heart. These difficult times will be short-lived compared to eternity.

God's on his way again,
retracing the old salvation route,
Coming up from the south through Teman,
the Holy One from Mount Paran.
Skies are blazing with his splendor,
his praises sounding through the earth,
His cloud-brightness like dawn, exploding, spreading,
forked-lightning shooting from his hand—
what power hidden in that fist!

How Jesus chose to honor God's wishes over his own desires as described in this story is definitely going to effect the way I pray.

2010-01-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

While I was reading Matthew 24 this morning...concerning the Second Coming of Jesus Christ...I was unexpectedly smacked square between the eyes with the last parable of the chapter which reads...

Jesus said, Who here qualifies for the job of overseeing the kitchen? A person the Master can depend on to feed the workers on time each day. Someone the Master can drop in on unannounced and always find him doing his job. A God-blessed man or woman, I tell you. It won't be long before the Master will put this person in charge of the whole operation.

But if that person only looks out for himself, and the minute the Master is away does what he pleases—abusing the help and throwing drunken parties for his friends—the Master is going to show up when he least expects it and make hash of him. He'll end up in the dump with the hypocrites, out in the cold shivering, teeth chattering.

Yikes! This story was a little too close for comfort. A number of years ago I worked for a large corporation. During the early years of my stint there a close buddy of mine was really in need of a job change. I recommended him to the company and it wasn't long before we were enjoying our lunches together. It was a great time for the both of us.

As it so happened, a couple of years later the company began to run into some rough times and began looking for ways to cull employees out of the corral.

During this difficult time we were hard-pressed to find work to do. While my buddy and I had separate offices, we could see each other from our desk...each on his computer dutifully typing away. What happened next is not flattering...in fact, it's really an embarrassment...but nevertheless...it became a great life lesson for me...and wouldn't you know it...this very parable I read today drove it home for me once again.

My buddy and I each had choices to make...how would we keep ourselves busy? My friend chose to extend his career possibilities by taking some classes provided by the company. He began to be proactive and started developing some processes that would assist in our department's functionality. I, on the other hand, left to my own devices, chose to do nothing. My decision, my fault, I blame no one else.

Little did I realize...our bosses had installed tracking devices on our computers to see how much work we were accomplishing. My buddy continued to faithfully perform above and beyond his job description. I, in essence, just sat and twiddled my thumbs waiting for work to come to me.

You might have guessed it by now...our bosses (like the Master in the story) were dropping in on us unannounced to see who was doing their work. My buddy was found faithful while I was found wanting. It was only a matter of weeks before I received my walking papers. I was sorely tempted in the moment to blame anyone and everyone but myself for this 'uncalled-for injustice' that had transpired.

That was a decade ago and my buddy is still employed at the same company. He's the faithful guy who didn't need to wait to have his responsibilities come to him...he wasn't satisfied to just perform the minimum requirements to get by...he was aware of his position and was committed to being the very best employee he could be. Believe me, this guy doesn't do it for show...he's the real deal...humble, gentle and oh so dependable.

For me, this was a tough, but very valuable life lesson.

You know, God is so good. In His mercy, he so patiently withholds from us what we really deserve in payment for our disobedience, and with His grace, He extends to us what we do not deserve..His forgiveness and love.

In a very unusual change of circumstances, leaving that job was the best thing that could have happened to me. God had a different plan in store for me and brought it to pass in spite of my being found an unfaithful servant. Again, God is so good. I love Him and am recommitted to being found a faithful servant in my current responsibilities, doing whatever He asks of me. Yes, there are hiccups and there are times of what seems to be persistent disobedience, but then again, it is by His grace alone that I am here today and have a hope for tomorrow.

2010-01-14T09:05:00.000-08:00

Matthew Chapter 23: Now Jesus turned to address his disciples, along with the crowd that had gathered with them. "The religion scholars and Pharisees are competent teachers in God's Law. You won't go wrong in following their teachings on Moses. But be careful about following them. They talk a good line, but they don't live it. They don't take it into their hearts and live it out in their behavior. It's all spit-and-polish veneer.

I wish I could say I was more than 'spit-and-polish veneer', but in many ways these words of Jesus Christ ring quite true in my own life. The saying, "Don't do as I do, do as I say," has been an unfortunate pattern in my own life more often than not. I chose to become a follower of Jesus Christ in 1974 at the youthful age of 17 (you can do the math to figure out how old I am if you want). From that time I have plunged into God's Word, the Bible, for some 35+ years from about every angle you could imagine. In 1978 I moved to Oregon and attended a Capernwray School which offers a very healthy dose of Bible teaching over a period of some 42 weeks from some of the greatest scholars of our day. I then attended a Bible College in the Midwest and received a BA in Ministry/Greek in 1984. Finally I moved to Chicago and attended a graduate school, receiving my Masters in Divinity in 1987.

You see, I know the teachings of the Bible and I can communicate in a somewhat acceptable fashion what I glean. I've even won some awards and received a few honors throughout my journey, but the $64,000 question is, looking back, have I really practiced what I have taught others? The answer, if I am really going to be honest with myself, is a resounding no. For the most part, it's been a teach what is right and still live as I please approach to my life.

You know, come to think of it, it would really be quite scary to have a follower shadow me throughout my life like they did in the days of Jesus and the Apostle Paul. They slept together, they ate together, they traveled together, they were persecuted together. Having a follower like that is not something I could easily accept. They would be privy to my deepest secrets...they would discover how I manage to stealthfully cover up my trail of wrongs committed throughout the day...how I constantly look out for number one...my snap judgments of those I meet...unwilling to believe the best in others. Pretty depressing if I were to stop there, huh.

The only thing I have left to declare today is that I still believe, and even see and recognize when I choose to look beyond my own self interests, that God is at work not only at the global level, but also at a deep and personal level with those who elect to name the name of Jesus Christ. Therefore I must cling desperately to the truth that I know...my efforts to do good are at best, bad, when it comes to standing against the plumb line of God's Word and what he requires in goodness...but thanks be to Him, what I cannot do on my own, He has done for me. God looks through all my imperfections, warts, wrinkles and all, and reminds me that with Him anything is possible, even someone as incompetent, impatient and incredulous as I am. Thank you, God.

2010-01-13T16:38:00.000-08:00

Living in America I do not consider myself 'rich' by any stretch of the imagination . . . but when compared to the rest of the known world . . . I guess I'm considered pretty well off . . . which troubles me a bit when I read the words of Jesus Christ (see my opening description above on this blog) and consider his understanding of life's priorities while being housed in this container of dust and water called a body. If Jesus were here today . . . I'm pretty sure he'd consider me 'rich'.

I live in a suburb...own my own home...have two cars...run my own business...have money to pay my bills...and did I mention I have lots of possessions? I possess a nice bass guitar, two amps, a few pedals...a really really nice camera and a darn nice backup camera with enough high quality lenses to do just about anything I could dream up...I own sports equipment, fishing, hunting, camping equipment...five TV's including a recently purchased large screen...four computers...lots of tools for woodworking and tinkering around the house...and the list goes on.

This blog, whether anyone ever chooses to read it or not, is going to be my own spot to write about things that matter to me...things that are right and things that are wrong...things that are easily seen and recognized...and things that are invisible, nevertheless just as real as the lazy boy I'm getting ready to drop into and watch a sports program on my new big screen TV.

I didn't really want to start a blog . . . because that requires discipline of which I possess only in small spurts . . . I have never been a procrastinator . . . and it would really bother me down deep inside to let something set undone . . . nevertheless here I am . . . writing . . . to whom? To me, I guess. Where this will end up and what it will look like is anyone's guess.